Monday, March 31, 2008

In a Bubble

With this blog, I am opening up a side of me that allows strangers and friends to make judgements about me...Why would I do this??? Good question. I want to express myself - like I have mentioned, I am looking for something, and I want to be released. Picture a person naked, in a bubble...a translucent bubble, that when the person within moves and stretches to break free remains contained because the bubble can stretch...can you picture it? That's how I feel...

When I write the words in my mind and from my heart, I can look back with a new perspective...hence "express and perspective"...I do journal; however, no one can read my journal, it is private. In this forum, I can be read, I can be heard....that's what we all long for, is it not? To be heard???

I have had the privilege to work in counselling situations with both the young and the old (most of the situations were more listening, less counselling) thing I have learned is that everybody wants to be heard! Most of the time, I did not have an answer for them and that was okay. They needed to speak their heart and have someone listen...that's what I did...I like to listen.

I had an experience with one man who had recently come out of the penal system after spending the majority of his life behind bars for attempted murder...He kept to himself and rarely spoke. One day, I greeted him, as I do with everyone, and he grunted back at me. Out of politeness, I asked him how he was doing, and the conversation begun...for the next 30 minutes, this man would reveal his heart to me...then he would pull back, and then he would stretch out again and share his journey with me...his childhood, his father, his feelings about humanity, his inability to cope, his future plans...He would stretch and pull back many times before the conversation finished.

I could give him nothing more than my ear and as much understanding and empathy as possible. I was genuinely interested in this man. His story, this experience, left a huge impact on how I look at others. And how I listen to others. Everyone has a story, everyone wants to be heard...someone wrote a song about that, I cannot recall her name at the moment, but it is very true.

What is also important is what is not spoken in a conversation, I listen for that too. There are many times when I have been a part of a conversation or I have listened to a conversation where one person is quiet, or where there seem to be gaps in the flow of the story being told...These are important. The person is revealling something about themself, about their belief system, by their silence. The man that told me part of his story never once mentioned hope in any way, shape, or form, except to say that he wanted to return to jail (this would be a form of hope for him) because he couldn't cope in society. And though he didn't mention hope in that conversation, he showed hope to me. Not by what he said, but by speaking. I believe he hoped to be heard and that is why he spoke.

It takes courage to speak. Whether you converse, or write, or paint, or express your heart and your mind in whatever form, it takes courage. Hoping someone will hear you...not judge you and dismiss you as worthless. We all have worth. We all have potential.

Do you hear me?

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