Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010-The Endeavour

share the love and truth of Jesus so others will see and be inspired to do the same

engage in battle with courage, always asking God for His eyes to see throughfocus
take back my physical stamina, engage in new self-discipline body, mind, soul, and spirit, rising to new heights
reveal the gem that has been hidden for so long
rediscover life
2010

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Exploring Mark

In these past couple of months, I set out to study the Gospels in a slightly different way than I have before. My goal is to know Jesus better. Jesus, the man that lived upon this earth. God in man-form.

 
I started with the Book of Mark and as I read, I placed myself in the context of the situation, taking on a persona of one who may have been observing first-hand. I have really enjoyed studying this way because it has made Jesus more personal to me, it has challenged me to step beyond what I have been taught by "authorities" all these years and consider Jesus from a more human perspective. This is important because, so often, Jesus' deity can leave us estranged and discouraged, even bitter. We may think, Jesus is God after all, and thus, he has an unfair advantage...he couldn't really understand what I am experiencing.  There are times when I have felt this way and it is part of why I endeavored to study the life of Jesus a little differently. I want to know Jesus personally, and know that his diety didn't skew his life in such a way that any one of us could not also live like Jesus.

 
I did not hold back as I went through this book. I questioned. Some of the thoughts that arose from studying the life of Jesus via the book of Mark included the following:
  • Jesus was focused, he needed solitude, he moved around, people came to him.
  • Mark 5.11-The entry seems anticlimatic - purpose? 
  • Mark 14 Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation(?)-passover partying?-prophetic? What did Jesus expect, these guys were tired?
  • Mark 14:62 ...right hand of the mighty one - more figurative? 
  • Mark15:34...why have you forsaken me? How is this possible?
So, as I read and scribbled notes, I would pray about my questions and observations. Sometimes, I would be led to go deeper and research the historical context, the original interpretation, or commentaries on certain verses.

I feel that in our walk with God today, knowing Jesus is really not the priority for a lot of us who claim to be Christians. And when I say that, I say it with respect, not so much condemnation.  God draws us to Him as He wills and that is, gratefully, an individual calling - for we are individuals, not carbon-copy robots. (Nor are we meant to be!) 
For me, this exploration has helped me identify more closely with Jesus, the man. I am learning that he didn't just have all the answers to how things were going to unravel around him as he began his ministry in earnest, and how he handled his relationship with others in a consistent manner, yet individual - meeting the need of the person, not just spouting off a generic response as they interacted with him. I have also learned I have more to learn.

Next Gospel...? Well...I think I will read over Mark again.

How are you getting to know Jesus more personally?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A Babbling Confession

For many days now, I have been assessing where my heart lies and what I want the next year to hold. It has not been an easy assessmnt and I am still in the process of refining, making sure that I am at the core of where the truth of my heart lies. 


This may sound a little odd, but I have not been trained to respond to what I truly desire, but rather, with an imminent list of pros and cons, I'd make decisions which would compromise my heart.  And oftentimes, seeking out any Godly counsel or wisdom of friends was commonly (and foolishly) overruled by the pride I had allowed to dictate my soul. This has resulted in many decisions that I have regretted. It is a process and a habit I want no part of any longer! Sadly, I have been saying this for a while, and yet, I still fall into the same habit of decision making...and, by my standards, I am way too old to continue to allow this ungodly behaviour. 
I mention age because it is becoming apparent to me that as I come to kiss my forty's, the legacy I leave behind thus far, is...well...let me just say, it could be so much better.
So, where does that leave me?
The Bible has much to say on the heart, wisdom, what our focus should be on...And perhaps my ambition to leave a better legacy is prideful of me...though determining that is part of the process of soul-searching...
What is my heart's desire? Why do I want what I want?

Make in me a clean heart, Lord Jesus, and renew a right spirit within me...This is the psalmist's cry and mine also.

To break free of the chains that hold me back from being all that I can be  God intends me to be!  Isn't that the challenge? Putting aside ourselves and letting God lead, but doing so without getting caught up in a Martyr complex  - which is pretty much like twisting God's purpose and taking the lead from God once again. I am being very transparent when I say that I have informally "suffered" from the "Martyr complex"...that's expected of women anyhow, right? Everyone else comes first and good little (christian) women suck-it-up and die to their selves.  Unfortunately, the dying-to-self-thing is misappropriated, thus the martyr complex. But I digress.

Let's see...Legacy...Heart's desires...
Truly: My greatest desire? To honour God. How does one do that? Moment to moment live for Him. That is a challenge in and of itself! Aligning my heart to God's heart for me in all of this is where I need and want to be, but I am finding it difficult because this season, it will be taking me way out of my comfort zone. WAY out! But that's a good thing, right?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Holiday Wishes

I would like to take this opportunity to wish each of my readers a very Merry Christmas and  Happy Holiday! I also want to thank you for the gift of your interest in my blog. The journey is far from over, and I hope that in some way, my Words Exploring have been a blessing to you.  I pray that each of you will be filled with the knowledge of the love of Jesus Christ as this season unfolds into a New Year, and with that, I pray the new year is an overfilling of the Holy Spirit in each of your lives to the Glory of God!

~
We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints— the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth...

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. [Taken from Colossians 1]

~
Thank you, Smiles, and Blessings to each of you! ~mp:)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Hope in Him

~

I have been waiting and watching for you to reveal yourself...'show me' I  asked, 'I need you to show me any...'

I saw it....I heard it... you - you....father

For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. ~Ps 86:10

~

Thursday, December 17, 2009

It Would Seem It's All Because...

it would seem
to write
to postulate
to expound
...all is lost
lost to the hammers
lost to the paint, the steamer, the dog, the child, the...
lost.


it would seem
the music
the dream
the desire
gently lies beneath the surface
...out of reach
away from touch
away from reality, away...
out of reach.

it would seem
the love
the man
the god
still pursues relentlessly...
Thankyouthankyouthankyou

it would seem
the words, they came
the hope, still pulses
the hesed, works regardless
all because...

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,because he will save his people from their sins."
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Do You Always Act With Integrity?

Don't you hate it when people/businesses don't do what they say they are going to do?! This renovation project that I am immersed in currently is a real eye-opener when it comes to the integrity of those involved.
Now, I am usually cognizant of judging others (Matthew 7:1-5) and so, when I make this comment, I wonder about my own behaviour. I know there are times when I have not followed through on things and I was aware that I did not follow through...and I did feel some remorse, but not enough to do anything about it at the time.

What about you? Do you ever let your promises go unfulfilled?
Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no', right? (Matt.5:37)
It comes down to personal integrity, does it not?

That being said, what is integrity?

Integrity in the dictionary is described as:
Function: noun
1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness
synonyms see honesty (via Merriam-Webster)

I find it intetesting that the etymology of the word is revealed to be:
integrity:c.1450, "wholeness, perfect condition," from O.Fr. integrité, from L. integritatem (nom. integritas) "soundness, wholeness," from integer "whole" (see integer). Sense of "uncorrupted virtue" is from 1548.

The only way we can be whole is with God.
 
I found 22 mentions of "integrity" in the NIV through BibleGateway.com

Integrity is a commendable attribute that governs our actions.  It  usually endears us to others; they, knowing that we can be counted on in our dealings, whether it be personal or professional. Which brings me back to my frustration.  I expect all businesses to be integral in their dealings. Remember when you could shake a person's hand to close a deal? Now, you need a stack of papers knee-high to make sure that each party involved will do as they said they would! And that creates a limit of expectation, forget about going above and beyond!

After reading through the verses that mention integrity in the Bible, I am further convicted to make a point of acting with integrity in my dealings, even when I don't feel like it. I would rather be known for having a stubborn integrity than being labelled undependable, dishonest, and/or corrupt.  Harsh words perhaps, but that is the reality of not exercising integrity.

So, heeding these words:
The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
~ Proverbs 10:9


The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.
~Proverbs 11:3

And following the example of Christ,
 
They came to him and said, "Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? (Mark 12:13-17)

I lay before God my desire to act with integrity in all of my dealings, with His help and to His glory.

Friday, December 11, 2009

I Still Believe


It is not that I have given up,
It is not that I am afraid,
I wait upon the Lord.
I must be obedient to Him first,
I must trust His Word,
I look to Jesus for comfort.
The promises He made,
The truth of His love,
I hold on and let His Spirit carry me, guide me, hold me closer still.

What about you?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What are you passionate about?
Where do you want to be in 3 years?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?

...Nothing...I've got nothing.
You must have something?
Nope. I have stopped thinking about my dreams and desires.
What?! Why?
Because. I am only allowed to do what others approve of.
What?! That's outrageous!! Who? Who are these others?
Those who have the power to control.
What do you mean? Who controls you?
...Who doesn't?
I don't understand.
~
NEVER judge a book by its cover!You have no idea the whole story of others' lives...
~
When you look at the finely dressed woman, primped and proper, you would never suspect that she struggles with low self-esteem. Shopping makes her feel better. The store clerks want to please her. She likes that. It makes her feel important...if only for a while.

The young man that is the all-round favourite on campus. The one whose dad is always bragging about to his friends; girls are always flirting with him; teachers seem to always accept his late homework with a smile...This young man is a real charmer, charismatic, thoughtful, and intelligent. He also dresses in woman's clothes and has sought out same sex encounters...in the next city of course. He is empty and desperately looking for something.

The old guy that hits McDonald's every morning and sits in the same booth by the kids' play area, shaves every 3 or 4 days. You'd swear he doesn't own more than two shirts and he just looks creepy. A creature of habit. Same restaurant, same booth, same breakfast...every Monday to Thursday. No one knows he has hundreds of thousands invested here and there which he uses to offer scholarships to underprivileged children. He volunteers at the soup kitchen, washing dishes and serving on others. He also volunteers at the local park as a grounds-keeper. The man is quietly content.

That young girl...quiet, plays the piano at the school concert, does okay in school, attends church with her family every Sunday...She also services her father and her older brother throughout the week. She knows no other life. It (the sex) is not rough, its just how things are. No one suspects anything.
~
Disturbing? Yeah...the real stories are even more disturbing, but what can we do about it? ...I meant, really? Call CAS? shake a hand? offer counselling? pray? It is easy to judge each of these persons, categorize them, look down upon them as we impose our own expectations upon them and conjure up "solutions" so they can live a more "Christian" life, but...consider...

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor." Matt.7:4-5 (The Message)

How easy is it to pass judgement on any or all of these scenarios? And perhaps as you read these, you were thinking of someone you know? We can spot the obvious as we recognize the injustice in each of these lives, but if someone were to lay out your life in a snippet such as above, how would you feel?

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matt.7:1-3 (NIV)

Often, we think we have it all figured out (and so should they).  Every person goes through seasons of hardship and battles, no one is exempt. Take a look at your own life... Take a look at the life of Jesus:
Jesus went straight to the Temple and threw out everyone who had set up shop, buying and selling. He kicked over the tables of loan sharks and the stalls of dove merchants. Matt.21:12
One could make the assumption that Jesus had some serious anger management issues. But this is only a snippet, we do know the context to this moment and why Jesus was so enraged. Without the context...well...you get the idea.

So, when tempted to make judgements or assumptions about someone else, remind yourself:
You only know part of the story. Perhaps the Holy Spirit will move you to prayer or spur you to get to know even more of the story of that person...to the glory of God.

By-the-way, the gentleman that frequents McDonalds is a Wiccan.

"We know nothing of the trials, sorrows and temptations of those around us, of pillows wet with sobs, of the life-tragedy that may be hidden behind a smile, of the secret cares, struggles, and worries that shorten life and leave their mark in hair prematurely whitened, and a character changed and almost recreated in a few days. Let us not dare to add to the burden of another the pain of our judgment." ~ William George Jordan

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Udon, A Wall, and Jesus

If I was cold, I'm not now.  The Nabe Udon is steaming before me. Seafood, veggies, and thick noodles in a Japanese broth continue to cook in a small iron pot that serves as my bowl.  As I stir the ingredients to cool, a tiny octopus surfaces. I snap it up immediately, blow on it tenderly, and devour it smiling slightly as I recall introducing octopus to my youngest. It wasn't the best experience for her at the time.  She was greatly disturbed by the texture as the crunch of the beak caught her by surprise.

Still too hot to eat, I listen to the Christmas music playing in the background.  Outside the sky is blue and the sun feeds the festive spirit as people prepare for Christmas.

My Christmases over the past few years have been very inconsistent.  In country, out of country, at home, at others' homes...This Christmas, being in a new house (that is yet unfinished), I wanted to create a beautiful traditional-type memory for my girls.  The focus: family, friends, food, and sharing Jesus.

It is the "sharing Jesus" part that has been gnawing away at me for the past several months.  You see, I encounter many different people in a day - just like any of you do - some poor and disenfranchised, some very influential, and some that are seemingly middle-class, ordinary. The problem is that I appear to have hit a wall. It is one of those walls that I believe the Lord put in my path to guide me, not hinder me.  I cannot seem to find the right words to engage in conversation about Jesus. The verse about always being ready to give an answer for your faith  immediately jumps to my mind as I stumble to find the right words.  One of the mercies in this situation is that it is the Christmas season! Engaging in conversation about Jesus is almost expected, certainly tolerated compared to other times of the year, and bringing the message of Good News to the mixed group of personalities has the opportunity to go beyond straight "evangelism" to engaging in God-ordained relationships.  That is exciting!

I have seen people, including clergy, who simply want to get the Word out and leave it at that, but in doing so, they miss the opportunity to grow themselves and mentor/befriend others. They almost have an attitude that exclaims, "I have done my job, now let someone else deal with the day in and day out..." I have seen this so often that I didn't realize how indoctrinated in that mentality I have become! Tell them about Jesus and let them figure out how to be a "Christian" on their own. Point them in the right direction, which is sometimes necessary I realize; however, often it is the staying power of the relationship that is what is most needed, most beneficial for all involved, and most manifests the Truth of being a follower of Jesus Christ.

This is part of the wall that I have hit. I want to let God father me in how to deal with this so that I am transformed in my thinking and in my behaviour around this matter.  I want to engage in meaningful, Godly relationships with others yet, I really do not know how to do this consistently...or perhaps I am holding back (out of pride?). Regardless, as the Christmas season progresses I will seek out my King on how to navigate this portion of the wall and focus...on Him.

My udon is cool enough to eat now...I imagine Jesus sitting with me, sharing in my meal..."Let's talk," He says...

Featured Post

They Did Not Realize

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. ~John 21:4