Friday, August 8, 2008
I Am Where?!!!!
LOL...Am I anywhere where I thought I would be? Nope. (For those close to me, do not laugh. )
I am still listening to where God would lead me, and thus far, it has been places of familiarity. I was looking for foreign places and God has, so far, placed me in areas that I am familiar with. Now, the trip is not over, by any means...but I am finding it interesting that even though I was ready for anything, anywhere, I have been led here. Here, being a friend's house that is near the border. Not a campground, not a B&B, not a hotel....a friend's house...hmmmm....
And getting here was interesting, I entirely relied on God to tell me which roads to take...I chuckle to myself as I think about it because I figured I would be across the border right now. It is not to be...and I do not mind. I want to follow God and He has led me here. It has been positive. Surprising, but fun, in the sense that it feels right to just be - allowing God to show me the way and accept it without resisting is a good thing.
Trusting Him to lead has not been as difficult as I thought it would be either. You see, I released my desire to go to any one particular destination, figuring that where God wants me would be the best place to be, right?! Giving up my desires to Him has turned out quite well. This is very encouraging for me because I have much "bigger" desires that I am reluctant to completely hand over to God because (I will be very frank - ) I wasn't sure I could trust Him. Oh sure, I keep telling myself 'I trust God', but when push comes to shove, I still want things done in my timing and my way. I am learning to walk the walk I talk with more integrity...being integral with God.
Often in the past several months I would sense that God was asking me, "Do you trust me?" and I would say, "Yes, I choose to trust you." I choose...Perhaps God is being gracious with me, showing me that I can trust Him outright...The choice could be effortless. In the past, choosing to trust God would take effort. I would conciously think, "I must trust God, and I will do this by choosing to trust Him". In my mind, I would think I was being a good Christian because I was choosing to trust God, which is what you are suppose to do, right?! But really, I think now that I was just trying to convince myself of something I only believed half-heartedly. With this trip, I am coming to the realization (slowly, but surely) that I really can trust God. God is faithful, He will do it.
I will meditate upon this some more and keep you posted...My gracious hosts have informed me that I can stay as long as I like:) (I do believe there is some small print about painting the rec room somewhere in there though...ahhh...what are friends for;)
By-the-way, my friends don't have kids, but they do have two cats and, Snuggles, the one above, had a 'fur-cut'...only because his fur got terribly matted...Snuggles is sporting the lion cut...smashing, don't you think?
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. ~John 21:4
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