True Confression

When I can't sleep at night, I think of you.
When I lose all perspective, I run to you.
When I want to be accepted, I turn to you.
When I am in awe and grateful, I sing to you.
There are many distractions, many road blocks to my Heart, but You...You wait, You urge me on, You guide me, You call me forth. You Are. You surround me with songs of deliverance.
When I have no one to talk with, You are there. You hear me, You speak with me. 
I have an ache of pity for those who do not know you. If they only knew...
If they  only    knew.

Jesus: Saviour, Lord, King...My hope is in You. My faith is in You. My life is in You.

Jesus: Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.~Acts 4:12

~

Please consider getting to know The One True God, if you don't know Him already...His name is Jesus, His story is all around you, but you can read about Him in The Bible.

 check it out here or here or here

Receive

Be quiet - the Father calls, the Spirit speaks, Jesus draws us nearer - He welcomes us. His death and resurrection allows us to come near. Listen.

For the love of God we are.

Grace and mercy envelop us, and with a grateful heart we come. We respond. We stand before the throne.

On bended knee...prostrate before the King...standing tall, head held high...receive.

Receive the Holy Spirit and all He has for ...you.

My Struggle today...

allowed anymore apathy apparently astray bitterness break circles conforms control decide decisive depends dream encroaching fighter free freedom give god going hope jesus law led live mind oh perspective resentment root spirit taking thought tired towards unless wait wanted wrong

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Maslow's Hierarchy and Guarding

I suppose I should write something. I have been reading over my blog posts of late and noticed that I have not been so "revealing" as of late. It's not a bad thing, just a slight change in gears I suppose. There are many parts to my story that have led me to be more guarded recently...Guarded...to guard...watch over...protect...protection...safety...safe. Safety is something I long for...I suppose we all desire to be safe. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs mentions it:

Though I am not convinced that this chart is thoroughly accurate, I do believe that we all need to feel safe.  When you don't feel safe, it messes with your mind...then your behaviour...and you ususally end up guarded.

Guard:

guard (n.)

early 15c., "one who keeps watch," from M.Fr. garde "guardian, warden, keeper," from garder "to guard," from O.Fr. guarder (corresponding to O.N.Fr. warder, see gu-), from Frankish *wardon, from P.Gmc. *wardo- (see ward (v.)). Abstract or collective sense of "a keeping, a custody" (as in bodyguard) is from early 15c. Sword-play and boxing sense is from 1590s. (Online Etymology Dictionary)
 
We shut others out, we pull back, we become defensive, we guard that what we treasure the only way we know how.  This survival or coping mechanism is all part of the journey of life.  Learning what and when to guard is probably one of the toughest challenges we encounter as we navigate through this earthly existance.  It is interesting that when we have no one to depend upon and we do not know what to do otherwise, we then consider God. (It speaks to the truth of our true being...spiritual beings having an earthly experience...just passing through.)  Really, we should be turning to God first, but often times we don't. It is a control issue. When we feel in control, we feel safe. When we feel out of control (when we are out of control), we feel threatened...unsafe.
 
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ~Philippians 4:7
 
You know, when I think about all the times that I felt unsafe, I distinctly recall praying asking for God to protect me and then having a peace or a new resolve. I am very thankful that God provides for us that way. The times that God seemed to elude my request only forced me to depend on Him more...seek Him out more deliberately.  He wants us to trust Him and to turn to Him - and not just when we are in trouble, but all the time.  ''Walk with Me," He says.
 
So, am I going to reveal what it is that is leaving me more on guard these days?
 
...nope...
 
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. ~Proverbs 4:23 ...God and I are working on this together.

Free!

Free...Word of the season. I am free. I like this. Unbound. Free. It is an interesting concept that has more and more value to me as I mature. Not imprisoned or enslaved; not controlled by obligation or the will of another...What a glorious concept!

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Let Israel say: "His love endures forever."

Let the house of Aaron say: "His love endures forever."

Let those who fear the LORD say: "His love endures forever."

In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

The LORD is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in princes.

All the nations surrounded me, but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

They surrounded me on every side, but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

They swarmed around me like bees, but they died out as quickly as burning thorns; in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

I was pushed back and about to fall, but the LORD helped me.

The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: "The LORD's right hand has done mighty things!

The LORD's right hand is lifted high; the LORD's right hand has done mighty things!"

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.

The LORD has chastened me severely, but he has not given me over to death.

Open for me the gates of righteousness; I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.

This is the gate of the LORD through which the righteous may enter.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation.

The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone; the LORD has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

O LORD, save us; O LORD, grant us success.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD. From the house of the LORD we bless you.

The LORD is God, and he has made his light shine upon us. With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession up to the horns of the altar.

You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

~Psalm 118

Trust Me

It has been too long. My muse has gone and now I must search deep within. In many ways, I am becoming more and more guarded I realize. I also realize that it is necessary for me to admit that I am guarding myself. I don't want to reveal my weaknesses and my concerns and be humiliated, I mean, who wants that?! So, what do I write about?  Trying to come up with pearls of wisdom or anything remotely helpful is lost to me, but then again, I started writing this blog to express my perspective on my walk so I could look back objectively and learn, grow, and be encouraged.

Right now, I am completely humbled by my lack of employment. I finished my degree and had 3 different job offers. I was so proud. Strangely, they all fell through and I haven't been able to secure a job since. This is partly because there are major cutbacks going on in this city and newbies are being pushed to the back of the line...seniority rules, and partly because, I believe, God is doing something. I am not just saying that flippantly or as an excuse. Throughout this time of unemployment, my walk with God has been a continuous mountain climbing adventure. Sometimes it has been a nice paced climb with decent terrain, but interspersed between the rough and raw terrain that left me relying completely on my Guide. It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows as far as the weather goes either. Regardless, I have learned many things about myself, about what I really want and really don't want. I have also learned that when God says, "Trust Me" I am being forwarned that my trust in Him is going to be (usually severely) challenged.

It had gotten to the point where everytime I heard God say "Trust Me" I would inwardly groan looking forward to nothing but hardship ahead. Now when I hear "Trust Me," I am comforted because I know I can trust God. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. He really does this! Not necessarily in my timing (we are usually on time different schedules...my clock is faster than His), but that is part of trusting Him. He has perfect timing.

I will leave it at that. I am in the process of learning, living, growing, just like anybody else and I trust that what good works God has begun in me, He will be faithful to bring to completion, just like he will for anyone of you. (Phil 1:6)

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD,

 have never forsaken those who seek you.

~Psalm 9:10

You Are Precious

This morning I am blanketed in the words "precious" and "gentle", even the pastel colours of the inbetween morning whisper softly these words. ('Inbetween' winter and spring, night and day.)
If you know me at all, you know that I love the sound of babies laughing, I can't help but smile even when I think of their sweet giggles. This morning I think of one little girl in particular. She is not giggling. This precious little one was violated in the worst way, left damaged and ill. Righteous indignation rises up within me and my heart breaks a little more. I don't even know this little one personally; I do know she doesn't deserve to be harmed.

How much more does our God, the One who formed this little one in her mother's womb, - how much more does His heart break?

When you look at another, do you see them with the eyes of God. Precious in His sight, everyone of us.Take away all of the man made layers of existence and see what God sees. Not a hyper brat, not a famous media star, not a doctor, not a street person, not handicapped, not dirty, not a fighter, not a prostitute, not a pimp, not a clever business person, not a pastor...Rather, a precious soul. One He was willing to die for - and not just die, but rise again conquering death and sin. We are so precious to Him that He is willing for us to know Him!

God is not just an overlord with a set of rules that we must follow in order to please Him. God is, in man-form, Jesus Christ, who wants to engage in a relationship with us. He will not violate us. We must invite Him into our lives in order to begin this wonderful relationship. We are precious to Him and He is gentle with us, knowing what we need when we need it, providing for us, healing us, guiding us, loving us.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.~Matthew 11:29

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.~John 3:16

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.~Revelation 3:20

What is Human Trafficking?

What is Human Trafficking?
"The greatest and most shameful regrets of history is always about the truth we failed to tell."
—Haugen 2005

■TRAFFICKING IS…
to be deceived or taken against your will, bought, sold and transported into slavery for sexual exploitation, sweat shops, child brides, circuses, sacrificial worship, forced begging, sale of human organs, farm labour, domestic servitude.

 ■TRAFFICKING IS…
where family members and friends deceive parents to release their children or sell them for as little as $20 each, selling them on to local gangmasters or serious organised international trafficking rings.

■TRAFFICKING IS…
growing. 2–4 MILLION men, women and children are trafficked across borders and within their own country every year. More than one person is trafficked across borders EVERY MINUTE, which is equivalent to five jumbo jets every day. a trade that earns twice as much worldwide revenue as Coca Cola.

■TRAFFICKING IS…
where victims usually suffer repeated physical abuse, fear, torture and threats to families to break their spirits and turn them into saleable commodities. a person can be sold and trafficked many times
( Taken directly from STOP THE TRAFFIK website)
 

Go here: YOU NEED TO FIND OUT MORE!

 

This is not an issue that is halfway around the world! It is in our own backyard...Get educated and help put an end to this social injustice!

 

 

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.~Isaiah 1:17 
 
“Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. And above all, thou shalt NEVER be a bystander"-Yehuda Bauer
 

Love protects. Love defends. Love restores. Love empowers. ~LOVE 146

Discouraged (?!)

It doesn't take much to become discouraged. I mean, when you have put your trust in God and it has been years and He's still "working all things together" and you are losing hope of ever coming out of this blasted season! A part of me figures since I have followed Him thus far, I should have the right to fuss and demand that He hurry up. I mean, I have been relatively obedient and I deserve some reward/privilege for that...right?!

What am I saying?!

Of course, I don't really mean it. I don't deserve anything. I am just frustrated. As I try to listen to God's leading and do all that I am called to do in this moment, I find myself ancy. I have been living through some incredibly bizzare circumstances for quite some time now. I can't make head nor tails of it, neither can others. So, I am drawn closer to God and further away from many...many things and many people. My greatest concern now is that I am becoming comfortable here in this odd existence, which is a sure indication that I need to be careful before the Lord stirs things up again...(words that comfort me but leave me disconcerted all in the same breath).

Sigh. Discouragement. ...And yet the Word of God speaks:

Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

I think I need to go meditate upon these words and my feelings right now.

This could be a chase down between me and God. Maybe that is what He wants - He has chased me all this time, perhaps He wants me to know how much I want Him...? Like wanting Him more than I want to remain discouraged.

I Am Grateful

As I watch the sun rise, I cannot help but think of you.
You occupy my thoughts night and day.
To you, O Holy One, I give thanks.
You are training me in the way I should go, leading my heart, leading my soul.
The deer, the rabbit, the coyote, the red-tailed hawk are a reminder to me of your creativity.
The sunrise, the trees, the snowflakes, the wind...the wind through the trees...
There is no where I can escape, you are there.
To you, O Holy One, I am grateful.

All of You (I Want Your Help continued...)

So, when I consider that God wants "all of me", I am humbled...confused...then terrified...Seriously though, I am humbled to think that God wants anything to do with me whatsoever. Who am I?

Actually, I can answer that one quite succinctly: I am a child of God. That is who I am. My name is MistiPearl. I do this and I do that, but who I am is in Christ Jesus and all that He has done for me.

So, when I engage in a conversation with my God, my Maker, my Saviour, and He says He wants "all of me", I am humbled. The reason I am a little "confused" is because I don't know what more I can give to Him, nothing is jumping out at me at the moment, which leads to the "terrified" emotion. You see, I know that God knows me better than I know myself and if He is calling me to give Him my all and I thought I was pretty much doing that, well...that would mean that He is going to take me further and deeper into knowing more of Him...and more of me. The more of Him part is not so bad. His character is consistent, I know He loves me, I know that the plans He has for me are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, I know God is Good - all the time. It is the going futher and deeper into me that terrifies me because at this point, I know that I fall very short of the Glory of God and facing that is always difficult. That being said, I am willing. Like many, I have come to the point in my walk with God that anything He asks of me I know is for the better and even though I do not always understand His ways, I can trust Him. What God has for us is far better than we could have asked for or imagined! We just have to be willing. Willing to let Him take us though the refining fire to remove the impurities and release us to be all that He intended us to be.

~

Dear God in heaven, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

All of you.

I am willing, take all of me, I am yours. Show me Your way.


But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.~Isaiah 43:1

Can You Hear Me?

My precious one, my heart's desire, I have not left you.
I call out your name, do you hear me so far...away.
Gentle as the sun dawns upon the dew laden grass, the warmth of your presence refreshes my senses that have been numbed by the dark.
Looking to the west, standing facing south, the wind gathers strength and soars...Can you hear me?

Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself; the LORD will hear when I call to him.

Can you hear me?

nothing

"I am miserable in this place. I have no purpose. Without purpose, I am nothing. I cannot see a way out. Every door I try is locked or opens only to be slammed in my face."

He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness. Job19:8


He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked. Lamentations3:9

Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." Matthew 16:23

2010-The Endeavour

share the love and truth of Jesus so others will see and be inspired to do the same

engage in battle with courage, always asking God for His eyes to see throughfocus

take back my physical stamina, engage in new self-discipline body, mind, soul, and spirit, rising to new heights

reveal the gem that has been hidden for so long

rediscover life

2010

A Babbling Confession

For many days now, I have been assessing where my heart lies and what I want the next year to hold. It has not been an easy assessmnt and I am still in the process of refining, making sure that I am at the core of where the truth of my heart lies. 

This may sound a little odd, but I have not been trained to respond to what I truly desire, but rather, with an imminent list of pros and cons, I'd make decisions which would compromise my heart.  And oftentimes, seeking out any Godly counsel or wisdom of friends was commonly (and foolishly) overruled by the pride I had allowed to dictate my soul. This has resulted in many decisions that I have regretted. It is a process and a habit I want no part of any longer! Sadly, I have been saying this for a while, and yet, I still fall into the same habit of decision making...and, by my standards, I am way too old to continue to allow this ungodly behaviour. 
I mention age because it is becoming apparent to me that as I come to kiss my forty's, the legacy I leave behind thus far, is...well...let me just say, it could be so much better.
So, where does that leave me?
The Bible has much to say on the heart, wisdom, what our focus should be on...And perhaps my ambition to leave a better legacy is prideful of me...though determining that is part of the process of soul-searching...
What is my heart's desire? Why do I want what I want?

Make in me a clean heart, Lord Jesus, and renew a right spirit within me...This is the psalmist's cry and mine also.

To break free of the chains that hold me back from being all that I can be  God intends me to be!  Isn't that the challenge? Putting aside ourselves and letting God lead, but doing so without getting caught up in a Martyr complex  - which is pretty much like twisting God's purpose and taking the lead from God once again. I am being very transparent when I say that I have informally "suffered" from the "Martyr complex"...that's expected of women anyhow, right? Everyone else comes first and good little (christian) women suck-it-up and die to their selves.  Unfortunately, the dying-to-self-thing is misappropriated, thus the martyr complex. But I digress.

Let's see...Legacy...Heart's desires...
Truly: My greatest desire? To honour God. How does one do that? Moment to moment live for Him. That is a challenge in and of itself! Aligning my heart to God's heart for me in all of this is where I need and want to be, but I am finding it difficult because this season, it will be taking me way out of my comfort zone. WAY out! But that's a good thing, right?

Just Be

...In His Presence

Hope in Him

~

I have been waiting and watching for you to reveal yourself...'show me' I  asked, 'I need you to show me any...'

I saw it....I heard it... you - you....father

For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. ~Ps 86:10

~

Just Dance...

Dance

Sway and leap

Dance to My music, the sound that you hear

Stretch and twirl

Dance

Laugh and giggle, shine with Me

Release yourself to the joy within and...

Dance

Ode to Fly

The spirit of life still courses though the fragile creature
a gentle presence seems to envelop us in a blanket of warmth
under the multitude of stars on this chilly night the cry of despair is heard
all of nature hears the groan of mourning


Past images pulse through the mind as the sleepless night relentlessly continues, seemingly unending
The joy of these images are held brief in the heart as reality slashes through them...mercilessly
Tears flow forth and in a steady stream without shame

Only earlier all was well
Now, all is changed
Mourning is not denied.
Life goes on.
Life must go on...changed, but moving forward.

~

Never in my life have I been so attached to an animal. Nor have I been so impacted by death (except for when my Poppa passed on). Death seems to be all around me right now, as my cat and three acquaintances have passed on in the past few days. It is heart wrenching to feel the impact of these deaths and to see the effect it has had on others(...which breaks my heart just as much.)

Comfort came directly from God for me. Though there were moments when I wanted to seek out comfort elsewhere, it would have been a fruitless endeavor. He knew my heart better than anybody does and thus, I allow Him to tend to it. I am too weary to do anything else.

It is reminding myself of His Word, His promises that provides some comfort, but more than that. God is present with me in a way that is meaningful to me, completing all that I need in this moment. I am very thankful for that.

Now, as I continue on my day, reflecting of the death of our kitten, friends, family, and soldiers unknown...I give thanks to God for being there for me and all others who seek Him out in our time of need.

Thank you Father.

My Sincerest Condolences

I SHALL KNOW HIM 
BY   Fanny J. Crosby

When my life work is ended, 
and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me.

 Oh, the soul thrilling rapture when I view His blessed face
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love, and grace
That prepared for me a mansion in the sky.

 Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home,
But I long to meet my Saviour first of all.

 Thro' the gates of the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight,
But I long to meet my Saviour first of all.


Cho.
 I shall know Him, I shall know Him
And redeemed by His side, I shall stand
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand.