REST

Rest...rest...stop...rest...peace...rest...refreshing...rest...

Recently I have been impressed upon to rest. Rest. Ironically, I wasn't really sure how to do that or what exactly it meant in this particular season. So, I looked up the word "rest"... 

The word "rest" can have many meanings, but I have been led here:

In English, Rest: 
                   A bodily state characterized by minimal functional and metabolic activities, 
                   freedom from activity or labor, 
                   a state of motionlessness or inactivity, 
                   peace of mind or spirit

In Greek, Anapausis: 
                              An intermission,
                              cessation of any motion,
                              business or labour;
                              rest, relaxation

The Greek form of rest - anapausis - is used in the following scripture:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.~Matthew 11:29

In our humanity, God designed us to require rest.

Rest is a form of "inactivity" that affects all other aspects of our existence. If we work too long or hard at anything, we become fatigued, worn out physically and/or mentally. And If our mental state is worn, our ability to connect with God can become challenging. We most often see the need for rest when we are overworked at our jobs. We take a vacation, and afterward, even though our body is seemingly rested and refreshed, our mind and spirit are not. We return to physically being able to continue as we did at work, but mentally we may be suffering turmoil, stress, depression, and spiritually...well...some overlook the spiritual all together at this point as they try to deal with all that they have going on in the physical/mental. 

Our intrinsic need to rest physically becomes a priority, a matter of survival. 

Mental recuperation generally follows the physical; for example, when fatigue or pain is gone we can think more clearly, respond more appropriately, cope more effectively, but spiritual recuperation does not necessarily happen as easily as the physical or the mental. I would suggest that the spiritual aspect of rest is like an interconnected, dynamic umbrella to the physical and mental, protecting our body and mind from full on burn out or even death. The most important of rests.  If your spirit is "right" (rested, at peace, refreshed), your mental and physical well-being tend to be on the right track also. To get "right" with your spirit means you need to do some soul searching and recognize where you are at with your relationship with God.

It is in the spiritual battles of life, (that oftentimes we are not even aware of) that manifest themselves as forms of physical and mental issues such as fatigue, brokenness, turmoil, etc., that God calls us to rest. 
Jesus calls to us, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Rest is essential to the well-being of our souls, the spiritual aspect of our being.

Spiritual rest is something that is connected to the mental and physical. 

When we engage in rest, we have an inner change...a refreshing. 

Rest.

Have you heard the saying, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience" ?


“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”~Jeremiah 1:5

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.~Psalm 139:13-16 

God knew us before we were born, He knew us as individuals, He had a plan for our best life even before we were formed in the physical.
And in the physical, He knew we would need to rest, and more than that, He knew we would need to rest in the spiritual. He breathed life into us, the soul, to give life to the flesh. The spiritual and the physical are intertwined. It is the spiritual rest in Him that recharges us, that gives us strength, and Life so that our physical and mental well-being can prosper.

He knows us.

Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a  man, it passes though waterless places seeking rest, and not finding any it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.'~Luke 11:24

Luke 11:24 is not referring to human beings, but rather, what I will call fallen heavenly beings, and I include it to emphasize that rest is really a spiritual act that is not only essential but it is so significant it is sought after even by the fallen. 
Rest...It is a blessing, a gift for us from a loving God. 

Blessing.

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.~1 John 4:8

God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.~1 John 4:16b

Love.

When chaos, confusion, despair, weariness, depression, etc., rears its ugliness into our world, this God of Love, who cares about us, who knows us even before we were born, invites us into His presence, into His peace, into His rest. We unload our hurts, our baggage, whatever it is we are carrying that is burdening our existence and hand it over to God. Let Him deal with it and then let Him deal with you. It is not a passive act where you dump your load and wait for refreshing; rather, He invites us to take His yoke and learn from Him. This is where the rubber hits the pavement so to speak, and this is also where and why many choose to continue to carry their loads and walk away from Jesus' offer. (It is a standing offer however...never forget that.) 

Now, at this point, I need to rest. I would like to explore more what it means to take up His yoke, but in the meantime consider...

...Rest 

Life And Gratitude

Life.

I see it everyday in the mechanical sense. 

People living life. 

The good, the bad, and ...neither...people just living.

Today someone almost took me out as I turned into an intersection. The person didn't even slow down. He sped along with his arm casually out the window. He saw me. He didn't brake before, during, or even after the near miss. I can only assume he didn't care. Perhaps he figured there was lots of time, who knows? All I know is that within that second or two of avoiding a collision, I became even more grateful for God's protection and for my life.

Life.

Zoe

1. life

a. the state of one who is possessed of vitality or is animate

b. every living soul

2. life

a. of the absolute fullness of life, both essential and ethical, which belongs to God, and through him both to the hypostatic "logos" and to Christ in whom the "logos" put on human nature

b. life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last for ever.

In the Greek language, three different words—bios,psuche, and zoe—are translated as “life” in English, and each has a different meaning. Here are some examples of where each is used:

1. Bios, in Luke 8:14: “…anxieties and riches and pleasure of this life.” This Greek word refers to the life of the physical body and is where we get the word biology.

2. Psuche, in Matt. 16:25: “For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it.” The Greek word here refers to the psychological life of the human soul, that is, the mind, emotion, and will. It is where we get the word psychology.

3. Zoe, in John 1:4: “In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.” Here the Greek word refers to the uncreated, eternal life of God, the divine life uniquely possessed by God.

Life is a beautiful thing. We desire it, we search it out, but oftentimes, we avoid it. 

Life can be inconvenient, painful, frightening, and so sometimes we just exist.

In that moment of near-miss, I experienced gratitude for life. All of the things about my life in that moment that irked me became forgotten. I was just grateful.

Too often I complain about my life...I seem to hold myself to an ideal that is out of reach - whether this is good or bad...I want more life. My practical side often holds me back from doing more, and perhaps that is a good thing, but like an insatiable appetite, I want to live life more fully.

When I am reminded that God has a plan for all of us, I tend to wonder what that entails. Am I missing out on something because of my practical side? Am I avoiding life because it is too intimidating to take that step outside my comfort zone? Or is this it...my lot in life? Why am I still desiring more?!

As I grapple with my idea of what life should look like, I trust that God will continue to steer me to where that ideal life will manifest itself - moment by moment.

In the meantime, I am still mildly surprised at my response of gratitude in that near-miss moment. And despite my grumblings, I firmly hold to the belief that life is good, God is good, and I look forward to life after death with my Saviour and King...and my friend, Jesus.

For when we choose to believe Jesus is who He says He is and become Christians, our perspective on life and death changes...or it should change. 

We have new life and new hope during our life as Christians, and we have hope because we believe there is life after death. 

Life with God eternal. 

Thank you Jesus!

Wisdom

Live Well, Live Wise

 Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? 

Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. 

It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. 

Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. 

Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. 

Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn’t wisdom. 

It’s the furthest thing from wisdom—it’s animal cunning, devilish conniving. 

Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.

 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. 

It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. 

You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.

~James 3:13-18 MSG

Encouraged in Heart and United in Love

 My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, ~Col.2:2

Who have you encouraged and shown love to today?

Keep the Faith

It has been a while. I have started many posts and not finished them or finished them but decided not to post them. I have many stories of how God has been working in my life, in my realm...but many of those stories I cannot publish as of yet.
 
I am currently an RN by trade. Five years in and learning lots. God does some amazing things in the oddest of situations, and when very few people are paying attention.
...I have caught glimpses.
I have a growing understanding of how God works and His capacity to love us.
God is truly amazing, patient,...loving...
 
Like I have mentioned in the past, I have no church family right now. My walk with God lately has been very personal, very raw...very real. No prayer partners, no feel-good corporate worship, no spiritual advisor to mentor me or to turn to for direction...Just the Holy Spirit and my Bible.
 
It is an odd season in retrospect. I have a love/hate relationship with the Church. I have seen and experienced the damage the leaders and members of our churches can inflict on others, but I have also seen and experienced the true love of Jesus Christ manifest itself through the Church. But like many others, I approach the Church warily and I am not very eager to jump into a new "family" of believers at this time.
 
Our focus is to be on Jesus, not on man...
 
It is that mandate that I am learning to prioritize as I attempt to share the Love and Truth with others in my daily walk and as I attempt to know Him better.

It is an ongoing mandate.
 
Working in health care, in my particular role, I have frontline experience with new life just entering into our world, with old life passing on, and everything in between as they struggle to change their health status. I pray for them-for them and for my colleagues daily. In my current position, (as it seems in my life thus far), I am a jack-of-all-trades and master of none. I literally work in every department...It has been very rewarding...and frustrating...and revealing.
 
Controlling my temper, loving the unloving, blessing and honouring the undeserving, just trying to reflect the character of Christ in all I do and say is tremendously difficult at times. And I fail miserably at times. Thankfully, God's mercy and grace is abundant.
 
That being said, I don't know where you are in your walk, but if you are having a difficult time - you are not alone. Unfortunately, the Christ-follower path is not guaranteed a smooth one.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Our focus is to be on Christ Jesus. He is our strength, our provider, our counselor, our joy, our protector, our peace...our life.


 Keep the faith friends!

Rest

 

When things become overwhelming,

when life becomes a blur,

when everything you do just doesn't come together, no matter how hard you try,

when you feel lost and alone;

Stop.

...

 

 

Psalm 62

Never Doubt It

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ~Romans 10:9

The Truth cannot be altered because of ignorance, denial, or malicious intent.

A Little Heart

Generally, when we encounter another, we first judge the outward appearance. It is a subconscious response (usually) that helps us determine how we will engage with the other person.

It takes a while before we are able to understand the other person and know the intent behind their words and actions. And sometimes we never understand their heart.

 

God looks at us knowing immediately our heart, our intent...our true intent.

 

When we help one of our co-workers with their workload, when we pay a compliment to the friend of a friend, when we ignore the invitation to go to a family gathering...God knows why.

 

We cannot hide our true feelings from God. We can fool others, we can fool ourselves, but we cannot fool God.

 

This is a good thing.

 

Luke 16:15

He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight.

 

1 Corinthians 4:5

Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.

 

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

 

God is the source of love in its truest form. He looks upon us with understanding and love...and mercy and grace. In all our ill-intent, the hurt we cause, the hurt we suffer, God is aware and He does not reject us, but invites us to draw closer to Him. When we choose to draw closer to Him, He brings the healing and restoration we need...This is a very individual need.

God knows our hearts - He knows what we need.

 

~

 

Turn to God, turn to Jesus Christ. Choose to draw closer to Him and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7

 

 

Family

<sup>My extended family is very large. At holiday gatherings, it would not be uncommon to have 30+ people in the house, and more coming and going. Young and old, we all got along as families do...which means there were times when we didn't get along. That being said, we are still family, and in my experience growing up I knew that if one of us was in need, despite disagreements, we could always count on family to be there to help. This was a very wonderful quality about our family, something that I see being lost in the newer generations emerging in our family.

Now though my earthly family can be inconsistent in its dedication to each other, I am happily reassured that as the family of Christ, our spiritual family, continues to grow in numbers, not one of us will be overlooked, lost in a corner, or avoided out of distaste. Our Father and brother, Jesus Christ, has already assured us of this - for we are all important to Him, and despite the disagreements among us and with Him, He consistently continues to declare us His own, keeping us close to Him, and unashamedly loving us.</sup>

In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.  Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.  He says,

 

“I will declare your name to my brothers and sisters;

    in the assembly I will sing your praises.”

And again,

“I will put my trust in him.”

And again he says,

“Here am I, and the children God has given me.”

 

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil - and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. ~Hebrews 10-15
 

 

If You Don't Believe Me...

Generally speaking:

Religion: An institution where people believe they have God figured out.

Spirituality: An open mind to some of the facets of God.

Most of us mix religion and spirituality.

No one has all the answers. 

No one can say what, when, where, or how God will work. 

Just when you think you have got God kinda figured out, He goes and blows your mind.

Our God is an Awesome God!

Search after God. 

Don't hold back. 

He wants to be found. 

He wants you to know Him.

...And if you don't believe me, ask Him yourself.

~

From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’~Acts 17:26-28 New International Version (NIV)

Not Very Christian

It has been a very trying couple of years. Struggling with who I am and what I stand for has been my main adversary, and yet, I know it is an adversary to better me, not destroy me. The biggest struggle with my walk in this world has been how to step out into who I want to be, who I know I am, vs how to do it and still honour God (...and "no" people, I am not talking about sexual orientation). When it comes to honouring God with my actions, I recognize that God does not need my defense. He can take care of His own reputation. It is stabilizing my identity that leaves me feeling like a failure at times as I break free from the foolishness of religion and the blows of unsubstantiated condemnation brought against me.

You see, I hadn't realized how much of a 'doormat' I have become. When faced with conflict, I would generally step into my peacemaker persona and take the brunt of the blow, thinking that it makes me the "better-person", meanwhile others have interpreted my actions as guilt, weakness, and I become a target for further abuse. In these past two years, this type of activity in my personal and professional life has been escalating, leaving me seriously wounded - struggling with bitterness, anger, and intolerance. 

Right now, I am trying to break free. 

I am a bit of a recluse, there is no getting away from that. I can be social, but usually purposefully social. For example, I get to know others and I draw them together socially, but once I have connected persons to each other, I draw back. My energy is drained in large social gatherings after even a short time...I am an introvert most of the time. With this quality about me, there leaves a mystery I guess, to my being, that people seem to love to speculate on. Ironically, if anybody wanted to take the time to get to know me, I am generally very forthcoming, and probably not what they expected, but most people would rather live in a world of fantasy; it tends to be more interesting than the truth...This is the reason Hollywood thrives.

Presenting myself to others in such a way that they see the qualities of God before they see the qualities of Misti is an ever-sword-in-my-side situation. It weighs heavily on me as each decision I make - especially in the quandary of retaliation or defending myself - becomes a battle of determining whether my action will honour God or not, and then, is my decision based on a religious response of what I think God would approve of or not...and oftentimes, it is less a case of what God would approve of and more of a case of what the religious would approve of...sigh, I get exhausted in my spirit just writing that.

Quite frankly, there are times I would love to turn and beat the hell out of some people...and then pray for them... But that's not very "Christian" of me, is it?

Transforming so that the qualities of Misti are consistently a reflection of God is an ongoing process that definitely has its speed bumps. These past couple of years I have forgotten more often than remembered exactly who I am...I am NOT the Great I AM, but by the GRACE of God, I am who I am...an imperfect woman, a child of the living God, loved by God, forgiven by God, and transformed by Him...and this adversarial existence lately is part of the transforming work of Jesus Christ in my life. 

And despite the calamity I have been experiencing, it is comforting to know that God loves me just as I am...it is even more reassuring to know that He loves me so much that He will not leave me as I am.

Guarding Your Heart...and Mind

Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:22-24 (in Context) Proverbs 4 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

 
Proverbs 24:12
If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who guards your life know it? Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?
Proverbs 24:11-13 (in Context) Proverbs 24 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-8 (in Context) Philippians 4 (Whole Chapter) Other Translations  

Revenge

Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

Some days I would really...really...like to take revenge on certain individuals that have attempted to do me harm. I struggle with the hurt I feel and the anger, the injustice...and my inability to understand the lack of reasoning or rationality behind the other person's behaviour...Why? Why would they do this?...

For some, it can be a real challenge to not lash out in anger in the moment...before rationality sets in. For me, it is more of an internal struggle. I am like many others who are more likely to avoid confrontation and stew, and basically allow the anger/hurt eat away at me instead of dealing with it in a timely manner. It is something I have been working to improve. I am learning that very, very few people are actually willing to help others deal with their conflict. People generally don't want to get involved in conflict if it is not in their best interest, or rather, if they have nothing to gain from it. They will lean in to hear bits and pieces of a situation, but most people would rather wallow in the juiciness of rumour, innuendo, and the tragedy of others than seek to help bring healing and restoration. 

Being detatched from conflict is much easier than dealing with it...and if you are at the heart of conflict, and you detatch...well, let's just say it takes much longer to evoke restoration and healing.

Revenge is nothing new, nor is it anything unnatural. It is a reflex of sorts...not a healthy one or something that is to be encouraged, but it does exist and at some point in life you will have to address it internally.

Now, this is the deal: there are many a counsellor that would direct a person towards dealing with revenge with counsel based upon their specific training...and there is nothing wrong with that; however, unless your counsellor is Christian, they may not incorporate the importance of taking the entire matter to God.  I want to encourage you to do this.

Revenge acts, of their own device, always cause more hurt and damage to all persons involved (and a lot of people on the fringes too).  The interesting thing is that the person that exercises revenge will suffer the most - mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually...I am sure you can think of someone in your life who got caught up in revenge and suffered negative after effects. Have you ever considered someone who had engaged in revenge with admiration? I haven't...more along the lines of pity. A person never gets away with revenge...Look at Samson - Judges 13-16 - Samson suffered - and died. God used Samson's bad choices for good, but Samson did not escape the consequences of revenge.

When you consider revenge as an answer to your problems, you are acting in the flesh and separating yourself from God. In fact, you are attempting to play god. Bad idea. If you are considering revenge, you need to stop and do some self assessment. What are the reasons for the anger/hurt? And who can you talk to about it? Communication is essential to avoiding the toxic thinking that leads to revenge. And I don't mean talking to someone who will feed your anger/hurt feelings, but rather, someone who will be objective and give an honest perspective and productive direction.

...And you need to take it all to God. He will be the one who will ultmately bring complete healing.

Some people, including Christians, think God is too busy to hear their concerns, or that you can't bring your anger/hurt to Him - in all of it's rawness. Both lines of thinking about God this way are nonsense! God hears all, sees all, and knows all. He is the best person to go to in times of need. He knows your situation, and not only that, He knows the situations of all those involved, and He has the best advice to resolve the situation, not to mention the deep healing power that we need in order to move on. We are impatient creatures though, and God does not necessarily work according to our desired timetable, but He does work - in His time.  This is not a bad thing...a frustrating thing perhaps, but that is where our faith comes in.
 "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."~Rom. 8:28

Revenge is not the answer. Don't despair. Anger and hurt can and will be healed, but you have to be willing to back off, see things from a different perspective, be honest, humble yourself before God and engage in forgiveness. Get help and keep faith.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.~Rom.9:21

This is not meant as "professional" advice; personal opinion and experience only.

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, And Me - Book Review and Free Give Away

ADD THIS BOOK TO YOUR SUMMER READING LIST!

Skimming across my book choices, this title caught my eye. The content of the book; however, involves a slightly more difficult topic than what one might expect in a "memoir".

Mr. Cron presents a wonderfully witty and laugh-out-loud version of his life...Actually, this is only partly true. Though I did thoroughly enjoy his writing (...and I did laugh out loud at parts), Mr Cron touched my heart with his story.

He starts in his youth, creating a good base for understanding why he did what he did and what lessons he learned along the way. His father, being a significant influence to his choices, offered some wise advice: "Don't write checks against your life that you can't cover." (Good words to heed.)

Delving into the author's struggles, he reflects:

"There were kids in the Bowdoin Fellowship who were C.S.Lewis and Josh McDowell addicts, eager to develop a rational case for the faith so they could defend it against the intellectual objections of pagan professors. I wanted to fit in with them and enjoy discussing apologetics, but it was thin gruel to me. I didn't want to parse God--I wanted to be swept up in his glory. I didn't want to understand the Holy One; I wanted to be consumed in his oceanic love. I yearned for heaven, and as long as it remained beyond my reach, my life was tinged with disappointment.
      How could I know that my growing attachement to drinking was nothing more than a displaced longing for this kind of ecstatic experience of God?
      Besides, what would I have done differently if I'd known? I would have tried to figure out a way to have both Spirit and spirits. How else can I explain a twenty-year-old trying to swim in the depths of God, while clutching a glass of Scotch over his head?"

 From innocent childhood memories to not-so-innocent memories, Mr. Cron allows the reader into a world that many (many) people can relate to and how he managed to navigate through it with, and seemingly without, God.

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, And Me...A Memoir of Sorts by Ian Morgan Cron would be a great addition to your library...And, if you would like a free copy, I have one to give away. Please leave a comment describing your dad - in one word for a chance to win this copy. I will be sending out this book August 1st.

"Jesus, My Father, the CIA, And Me...A Memoir of Sorts has been provided courtesy of Thomas Nelson and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Thomas Nelson".

Screw Good.

You know, it is easy to serve God when you are single and alone (...that is: whether you are married or not, and/or just isolated). I say this because it seems to me that people get in the way of our walk with God. I can walk with Him in a sea of people and be content and filled with the Holy Spirit, oblivious to my effect on the masses, but the moment I reach out, all hell breaks loose!

Now, the fact is we are made for relationship with Him and with others, but it does not change the fact that some people are royal speedbumps in the road of life. (author included)

How does that Word go?..."Do not give up doing good"...? Bah Humbug! Screw good. Oh wait. That wasn't very "Christian" of me...But it was very real.

Sometimes I get tired. It doesn't mean that I don't believe in God or that I have left the faith or whatever. It just means I am human. Yep. News to the world. I. Am. Human. A person who still makes mistakes, who still gets frustrated with other Christians, who gets tired of always doing the "right" thing...I have my moments. Ultimately, those times are more between me and God than me and whoever else; however, oftentimes the "whoever else's" think it is between me and them...it is actually less so than their egos can take and they/we tend to make it about them and them....I mean me...and them. (Catch the "we"...I do it too..no condemnation here folks, just the facts.)

So, where does that leave me/us ? Right where God wants us. Scruffy, dirty, beaten, and breathless before Him, ready to be washed clean...again. And for those of you who think that you would never appear before God that way...well...you are a fool. He did not come to save the righteous(...and none of us are). He came to save us from the evil that seeks to destroy us. God is persistent, gentle- yet firm, full of lovingkindness (hesed), convicting- not condemning.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

It is much easier to walk with God alone...we don't get so dirty...but then again, we also don't get the cleaning that we need. ...Think about it.

Shalom

I Will Not Be Shaken

I am watching. I have heard your lies. I have seen your ill intent and I cringe at the domino effect of it, where it could lead.
I am praying. I have confessed my sins. I have seen the ill and I cringe at its effect.
I am persevering. I am operating from hope. I choose to see the light though the darkness however dim it may seem at present.
I will not be shaken.

1 Truly my soul finds rest in God;

my salvation comes from him.

2 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

3 How long will you assault me?

Would all of you throw me down—

this leaning wall, this tottering fence?

4 Surely they intend to topple me

from my lofty place;

they take delight in lies.

With their mouths they bless,

but in their hearts they curse.

5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope comes from him.

6 Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;

he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

8 Trust in him at all times, you people;

pour out your hearts to him,

for God is our refuge.

9 Surely the lowborn are but a breath,

the highborn are but a lie.

If weighed on a balance, they are nothing;

together they are only a breath.

10 Do not trust in extortion

or put vain hope in stolen goods;

though your riches increase,

do not set your heart on them.

11 One thing God has spoken,

two things I have heard:

“Power belongs to you, God,

12 and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”;

and, “You reward everyone

according to what they have done.”

~Psalm 62 

Extreme Home Makeover and Empathy

Extreme Home Makeover - great show. Inevitably, as the show goes on to the part where the homeowners see their new home for the first time, I cry...I cry with them. On yesterday's show, the homeowner was from Jamaica and grew up without shoes. The EHM team coordinated an effort where 1000 shoes would be sent back to the homeowner's school in Jamaica, at which point, I cried along with the homeowner.

I cry when there is heartfelt emotion. Generally, I am not a crier, but when I sense strong emotion from others, it is like I become sucked in through a strong vortex and become entwined in their moment. It is uncontrollable...the wave of emotion that wells up...and for that moment, I feel connected by something greater than myself. I can only attribute this experience to God and to how He created us.

Empathy... "Empathy is an ability with many different definitions. They cover a broad spectrum, ranging from feeling a concern for other people that creates a desire to help them, experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions, knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, to blurring the line between self and other."

We need empathy in our world today. We need to allow ourselves to feel the joy, the sorrow, the hurt, the anger of others...to view the moment or the world through the experiences of others. The reason why I say this is that without empathy we become calloused and cold to the truth. Truth.

In having empathy, we are able to offer mercy and love. The world around us is very quick to condemn us, hate us, and attempt to destroy whatever hope we may have. It is a fear thing. But with the Holy Spirit, we can overcome this pattern in the world by allowing Him to work in us and through us, allow ourselves to feel empathy and act upon it. For some of us that is easier said than done; however, it is possible because it is not us making it happen, it is God working in and through us. Perhaps it is something we need to pray for...the ability to see with His eyes, to hear with His ears, and to respond with His heart...

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,...

...so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.~Romans 15:5-6

Go Then...

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Mark 6:31

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”



A Season of Trials

I have been reading over some of my blog posts of past and I am struck with some surprise at what I have written. Everything I write, I write for myself as much as I write for anyone else. I write what I write to serve as a reminder and encouragement in my own walk, and I need reminding these days of God's unfailing love, hesed, grace, mercy, strength, ...of perseverance...

One area that I know I need to sharpen my sword in is in the battlefield of the mind. My mind. Taking back what was stolen from me and not allowing the enemy of my soul drain me of all hope by assulting my mind needs to be a priority. I have found that I am in a new place of trials, testing, strengthening...Where is my faith in this season? Do I long after the King as I did? More so? Less so? How do I reconcile what I am going through with what I know of God and His Word? Do I really know God like I thought I did? And why am I allowing others to mandate my existence? My walk. Am I strong enough? Do I need to be? Do I really trust Him?

This time, for me, has been one of deeper soul searching. Rhyming off scripture to answer the questions of my heart and mind doesn't cut it. My spirit longs for better understanding.
Right now, I feel as though I am being led through another side of life that in the past I had so arrogantly pushed aside as being "unfortunate circumstances", "weaker or lesser faith", "rebellion", or just plain "they don't get it" attitudes. Situations that I had always figured were other people's problems, not anything I would have to deal with personally. (Yeah right. Never ask God for true understanding if you don't mean it.)
...I often wonder how this season will glorify God?

That being said, I must turn to the Word and prayer, and listen, especially when I don't feel like it, and keep going. Keep persevering. Keep hope. Trust Him to guide me through. ...It is not an easy season to say the least. But, then again, we were never promised "easy" were we?


Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.~Hebrews 10:23

Tainted Saints

I knew a pastor that had abused his wife physically and emotionally. I knew a pastor that lied. I knew a person who paraded as a pastor, but was no longer "licenced". I knew a pastor that stole. I knew a pastor that was manipulative and controlling. I knew a married pastor that flirted with women in the congregation. I knew a pastor that was addicted to pornography. I also knew a pastor that gambled.

In my time, over the years working with different churches and church leaders, I have seen many things. In fact, what I have seen and heard could have and did destroy careers, marriages, reputations...and churches. It is not just the pastors that I had seen operating in destructive manners, but congregation members too. It happens.

What perplexes me the most is the plank-in-the-eye syndrome, or in other words, the lack of grace and mercy that these pastors (I am going to pick on "pastors" today) refused to exhibit towards others who may have been stumbling in their own walk. The spirit of self-righteousness was (is) alive and well in our church leadership - sadly.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds~Hebrews 10:24

As I navigate through the trials of my own walk with God, I look to my brothers and sisters in Christ for examples, for support, for understanding...for acceptance. When I look at these pastors, knowing their sin, I expect understanding. It is being able to relate to the struggle of plodding through miry clay, wanting to give up - yet holding on to hope, trying to see things clearly, and letting the Lord work in you to do all that is necessary(...the struggle...)that connect us. It is because of this experience in life that we are able to encourage others, to spur each other on in our walk with God. We are not islands. Yet, more often than not, we deny the truth of our character flaws and dress in the facade of convenience to keep our pride intact. (Catch the irony there?) It would seem that I expect(ed) too much.

Where grace and mercy is given and grace and mercy is received,...So, grace and mercy is to be passed on.

My rant for the day.