I watched as the man writhed in agony. He called out for help, "Help me! Helllp meee!" When asked how I could help him, he yelled out, "Don't help me...No, doon't help me!" As I turned to leave, the man gritting his teeth, moaning, and groaning, called out in desperation, "Don't leave me! Don't leave meee!"
I took his hand. It was cold, bruised, and had a slightly mottled look not unlike his legs which were less bruised and more mottled. Death was near. Quietly I prayed as I firmly held his hand. He looked at me, pupils pinpoint, desperate. His hand grip matched mine, welcoming the security of knowing that he was not alone. He continued to writhe in pain, and though instinctively he wanted to pull his hand away to soothe the area that was in pain, he would not let go, his eyes always watching me, searching for something. "I am ready. You can take me now," he stated. He groaned in anguish as if he was being tortured. "Take me now!" he yelled.
What people see in the spiritual in the final moments of life seem to be similar, their response to what they see is very individual.
When death is before you and you are at the brink, I can promise you, you will not be thinking of life, family, friends, money, regrets, hopes...you are wholly present in that moment facing something you have never known before. You have heard about it, seen others experience it, maybe come close to it in the past, but at the brink, it comes down to you and Death. For some it is a terrifying moment, some welcome Death as a friend, for some it is a swift surprise.
We tend to visualize Death as a negative concept. I am not talking about the afterlife, but the moment of death. I tend to picture Death in the form of the Grimm Reaper, but my experience with Death is not this otherworldly creature that, without conscience, steals lives; rather, Death is like an usher holding the "door" from this existence to the next. He holds the "door" at just the right time, for just the right amount of time. What a person sees, whether is be the "usher" or beyond this "usher", may be what terrifies or peacefully soothes as the journey of life transforms.
Death comes for all of us, but until that moment, please, don't live in negativity and despair: Live Life.
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life lessons. Show all posts
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Not Very Christian
It has been a very trying couple of years. Struggling with who I am and what I stand for has been my main adversary, and yet, I know it is an adversary to better me, not destroy me. The biggest struggle with my walk in this world has been how to step out into who I want to be, who I know I am, vs how to do it and still honour God (...and "no" people, I am not talking about sexual orientation). When it comes to honouring God with my actions, I recognize that God does not need my defense. He can take care of His own reputation. It is stabilizing my identity that leaves me feeling like a failure at times as I break free from the foolishness of religion and the blows of unsubstantiated condemnation brought against me.
You see, I hadn't realized how much of a 'doormat' I have become. When faced with conflict, I would generally step into my peacemaker persona and take the brunt of the blow, thinking that it makes me the "better-person", meanwhile others have interpreted my actions as guilt, weakness, and I become a target for further abuse. In these past two years, this type of activity in my personal and professional life has been escalating, leaving me seriously wounded - struggling with bitterness, anger, and intolerance.
Right now, I am trying to break free.
I am a bit of a recluse, there is no getting away from that. I can be social, but usually purposefully social. For example, I get to know others and I draw them together socially, but once I have connected persons to each other, I draw back. My energy is drained in large social gatherings after even a short time...I am an introvert most of the time. With this quality about me, there leaves a mystery I guess, to my being, that people seem to love to speculate on. Ironically, if anybody wanted to take the time to get to know me, I am generally very forthcoming, and probably not what they expected, but most people would rather live in a world of fantasy; it tends to be more interesting than the truth...This is the reason Hollywood thrives.
Presenting myself to others in such a way that they see the qualities of God before they see the qualities of Misti is an ever-sword-in-my-side situation. It weighs heavily on me as each decision I make - especially in the quandary of retaliation or defending myself - becomes a battle of determining whether my action will honour God or not, and then, is my decision based on a religious response of what I think God would approve of or not...and oftentimes, it is less a case of what God would approve of and more of a case of what the religious would approve of...sigh, I get exhausted in my spirit just writing that.
Quite frankly, there are times I would love to turn and beat the hell out of some people...and then pray for them... But that's not very "Christian" of me, is it?
Transforming so that the qualities of Misti are consistently a reflection of God is an ongoing process that definitely has its speed bumps. These past couple of years I have forgotten more often than remembered exactly who I am...I am NOT the Great I AM, but by the GRACE of God, I am who I am...an imperfect woman, a child of the living God, loved by God, forgiven by God, and transformed by Him...and this adversarial existence lately is part of the transforming work of Jesus Christ in my life.
And despite the calamity I have been experiencing, it is comforting to know that God loves me just as I am...it is even more reassuring to know that He loves me so much that He will not leave me as I am.
You see, I hadn't realized how much of a 'doormat' I have become. When faced with conflict, I would generally step into my peacemaker persona and take the brunt of the blow, thinking that it makes me the "better-person", meanwhile others have interpreted my actions as guilt, weakness, and I become a target for further abuse. In these past two years, this type of activity in my personal and professional life has been escalating, leaving me seriously wounded - struggling with bitterness, anger, and intolerance.
Right now, I am trying to break free.
I am a bit of a recluse, there is no getting away from that. I can be social, but usually purposefully social. For example, I get to know others and I draw them together socially, but once I have connected persons to each other, I draw back. My energy is drained in large social gatherings after even a short time...I am an introvert most of the time. With this quality about me, there leaves a mystery I guess, to my being, that people seem to love to speculate on. Ironically, if anybody wanted to take the time to get to know me, I am generally very forthcoming, and probably not what they expected, but most people would rather live in a world of fantasy; it tends to be more interesting than the truth...This is the reason Hollywood thrives.
Presenting myself to others in such a way that they see the qualities of God before they see the qualities of Misti is an ever-sword-in-my-side situation. It weighs heavily on me as each decision I make - especially in the quandary of retaliation or defending myself - becomes a battle of determining whether my action will honour God or not, and then, is my decision based on a religious response of what I think God would approve of or not...and oftentimes, it is less a case of what God would approve of and more of a case of what the religious would approve of...sigh, I get exhausted in my spirit just writing that.
Quite frankly, there are times I would love to turn and beat the hell out of some people...and then pray for them... But that's not very "Christian" of me, is it?
Transforming so that the qualities of Misti are consistently a reflection of God is an ongoing process that definitely has its speed bumps. These past couple of years I have forgotten more often than remembered exactly who I am...I am NOT the Great I AM, but by the GRACE of God, I am who I am...an imperfect woman, a child of the living God, loved by God, forgiven by God, and transformed by Him...and this adversarial existence lately is part of the transforming work of Jesus Christ in my life.
And despite the calamity I have been experiencing, it is comforting to know that God loves me just as I am...it is even more reassuring to know that He loves me so much that He will not leave me as I am.
Monday, August 6, 2012
What Money Can Buy
I came across a little card tucked away in my Bible that had a reminder about money. Lately, I have been hearing many people crying for the need for more money in their lives for whatever reason. We all need money to some extent...and some days more than others. The desire to be flush with cash so that you do not have to worry about those days when the bills pile up floods everyone's minds now and then, but we need to remember...
If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator.
If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.
If our greatest need had beeen pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer...
But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Saviour.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.~John 3:16
Money will buy:
A bed BUT NOT sleep.
A steak BUT NOT an appetite.
Books BUT NOT wisdom.
Finery BUT NOT a sunset.
A house BUT NOT a home.
Medicine BUT NOT health.
Luxuries BUT NOT peace.
Amusement BUT NOT joy.
A crucifix BUT NOT salvation.
A church pew BUT NOT heaven.
If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator.
If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.
If our greatest need had beeen pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer...
But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Saviour.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.~John 3:16
~
Do not let money rule your heart and mind. Regardless of how much money you do or do not have, keep your focus on what is really important in this lifetime...relationship - then you will never be poor.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Revenge
Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Some days I would really...really...like to take revenge on certain individuals that have attempted to do me harm. I struggle with the hurt I feel and the anger, the injustice...and my inability to understand the lack of reasoning or rationality behind the other person's behaviour...Why? Why would they do this?...
For some, it can be a real challenge to not lash out in anger in the moment...before rationality sets in. For me, it is more of an internal struggle. I am like many others who are more likely to avoid confrontation and stew, and basically allow the anger/hurt eat away at me instead of dealing with it in a timely manner. It is something I have been working to improve. I am learning that very, very few people are actually willing to help others deal with their conflict. People generally don't want to get involved in conflict if it is not in their best interest, or rather, if they have nothing to gain from it. They will lean in to hear bits and pieces of a situation, but most people would rather wallow in the juiciness of rumour, innuendo, and the tragedy of others than seek to help bring healing and restoration.
Being detatched from conflict is much easier than dealing with it...and if you are at the heart of conflict, and you detatch...well, let's just say it takes much longer to evoke restoration and healing.
Revenge is nothing new, nor is it anything unnatural. It is a reflex of sorts...not a healthy one or something that is to be encouraged, but it does exist and at some point in life you will have to address it internally.
Now, this is the deal: there are many a counsellor that would direct a person towards dealing with revenge with counsel based upon their specific training...and there is nothing wrong with that; however, unless your counsellor is Christian, they may not incorporate the importance of taking the entire matter to God. I want to encourage you to do this.
Revenge acts, of their own device, always cause more hurt and damage to all persons involved (and a lot of people on the fringes too). The interesting thing is that the person that exercises revenge will suffer the most - mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually...I am sure you can think of someone in your life who got caught up in revenge and suffered negative after effects. Have you ever considered someone who had engaged in revenge with admiration? I haven't...more along the lines of pity. A person never gets away with revenge...Look at Samson - Judges 13-16 - Samson suffered - and died. God used Samson's bad choices for good, but Samson did not escape the consequences of revenge.
When you consider revenge as an answer to your problems, you are acting in the flesh and separating yourself from God. In fact, you are attempting to play god. Bad idea. If you are considering revenge, you need to stop and do some self assessment. What are the reasons for the anger/hurt? And who can you talk to about it? Communication is essential to avoiding the toxic thinking that leads to revenge. And I don't mean talking to someone who will feed your anger/hurt feelings, but rather, someone who will be objective and give an honest perspective and productive direction.
...And you need to take it all to God. He will be the one who will ultmately bring complete healing.
Some people, including Christians, think God is too busy to hear their concerns, or that you can't bring your anger/hurt to Him - in all of it's rawness. Both lines of thinking about God this way are nonsense! God hears all, sees all, and knows all. He is the best person to go to in times of need. He knows your situation, and not only that, He knows the situations of all those involved, and He has the best advice to resolve the situation, not to mention the deep healing power that we need in order to move on. We are impatient creatures though, and God does not necessarily work according to our desired timetable, but He does work - in His time. This is not a bad thing...a frustrating thing perhaps, but that is where our faith comes in.
"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."~Rom. 8:28
Revenge is not the answer. Don't despair. Anger and hurt can and will be healed, but you have to be willing to back off, see things from a different perspective, be honest, humble yourself before God and engage in forgiveness. Get help and keep faith.
This is not meant as "professional" advice; personal opinion and experience only.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Some days I would really...really...like to take revenge on certain individuals that have attempted to do me harm. I struggle with the hurt I feel and the anger, the injustice...and my inability to understand the lack of reasoning or rationality behind the other person's behaviour...Why? Why would they do this?...
For some, it can be a real challenge to not lash out in anger in the moment...before rationality sets in. For me, it is more of an internal struggle. I am like many others who are more likely to avoid confrontation and stew, and basically allow the anger/hurt eat away at me instead of dealing with it in a timely manner. It is something I have been working to improve. I am learning that very, very few people are actually willing to help others deal with their conflict. People generally don't want to get involved in conflict if it is not in their best interest, or rather, if they have nothing to gain from it. They will lean in to hear bits and pieces of a situation, but most people would rather wallow in the juiciness of rumour, innuendo, and the tragedy of others than seek to help bring healing and restoration.
Being detatched from conflict is much easier than dealing with it...and if you are at the heart of conflict, and you detatch...well, let's just say it takes much longer to evoke restoration and healing.
Revenge is nothing new, nor is it anything unnatural. It is a reflex of sorts...not a healthy one or something that is to be encouraged, but it does exist and at some point in life you will have to address it internally.
Now, this is the deal: there are many a counsellor that would direct a person towards dealing with revenge with counsel based upon their specific training...and there is nothing wrong with that; however, unless your counsellor is Christian, they may not incorporate the importance of taking the entire matter to God. I want to encourage you to do this.
Revenge acts, of their own device, always cause more hurt and damage to all persons involved (and a lot of people on the fringes too). The interesting thing is that the person that exercises revenge will suffer the most - mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually...I am sure you can think of someone in your life who got caught up in revenge and suffered negative after effects. Have you ever considered someone who had engaged in revenge with admiration? I haven't...more along the lines of pity. A person never gets away with revenge...Look at Samson - Judges 13-16 - Samson suffered - and died. God used Samson's bad choices for good, but Samson did not escape the consequences of revenge.
When you consider revenge as an answer to your problems, you are acting in the flesh and separating yourself from God. In fact, you are attempting to play god. Bad idea. If you are considering revenge, you need to stop and do some self assessment. What are the reasons for the anger/hurt? And who can you talk to about it? Communication is essential to avoiding the toxic thinking that leads to revenge. And I don't mean talking to someone who will feed your anger/hurt feelings, but rather, someone who will be objective and give an honest perspective and productive direction.
...And you need to take it all to God. He will be the one who will ultmately bring complete healing.
Some people, including Christians, think God is too busy to hear their concerns, or that you can't bring your anger/hurt to Him - in all of it's rawness. Both lines of thinking about God this way are nonsense! God hears all, sees all, and knows all. He is the best person to go to in times of need. He knows your situation, and not only that, He knows the situations of all those involved, and He has the best advice to resolve the situation, not to mention the deep healing power that we need in order to move on. We are impatient creatures though, and God does not necessarily work according to our desired timetable, but He does work - in His time. This is not a bad thing...a frustrating thing perhaps, but that is where our faith comes in.
"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."~Rom. 8:28
Revenge is not the answer. Don't despair. Anger and hurt can and will be healed, but you have to be willing to back off, see things from a different perspective, be honest, humble yourself before God and engage in forgiveness. Get help and keep faith.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.~Rom.9:21
This is not meant as "professional" advice; personal opinion and experience only.
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Journey Continues...
In this past year, I have learned that life is not always what you expect. I have learned that some people are very afraid of being alone as they age. I have learned that some people are cruel beyond my imagination. And I have learned that God still loves and works in us and through us even when we are told He would have nothing to do with us. (Yeah, seriously wrong understanding of the Father by those...)
It has been an incredible eye-opener for me. The bubble of life I have lived in for so long has popped and I find myself in a world of grit. I am no longer surrounded by church goers, let alone believers. I do not have a circle of friends that I can count on to listen to my concerns, hurts, beliefs, musings, etc. This world is foreign to me and my understanding of how to live life, yet I have not left Canada...just the province of Ontario. I am in Quebec. A province that wishes to be a country. The complications in that sentence alone could fill several pages of my blog; right now however, it is not where I want to navigate...though it does influence my existence here.
I find the blanket of oppression heavy here and prayer difficult oftentimes. My own behaviour as a Child of God inappropriate at times, and yet, when I gear up and engage in battle and the Holy Spirit does things that are far more "impressive" than what I had ever seen in my previous season of existence!
When I think that God can no longer use me...I decide that I have nothing to lose, so I speak out boldly and WHAM, God moves. He moves through me and I see a side of God that I had not yet encountered! I am not out evangelizing, speaking the Word of God like a seasoned theologian, I am just me trying to bring some love and peace into the hearts and minds of others in the way I was taught. And despite me, the Holy Spirit brings what is needed to do what He wants done...and I am left humbled and in awe.
Around me are people who have no clue that they are loved by their Creator and that life is not about the money, the next party, the next partner, the next toy, the prestige, the next church building, or church service, it is not about any other thing/event you can dream of. It is about the desire to know Him every moment of every day.
...To be cont'd....
It has been an incredible eye-opener for me. The bubble of life I have lived in for so long has popped and I find myself in a world of grit. I am no longer surrounded by church goers, let alone believers. I do not have a circle of friends that I can count on to listen to my concerns, hurts, beliefs, musings, etc. This world is foreign to me and my understanding of how to live life, yet I have not left Canada...just the province of Ontario. I am in Quebec. A province that wishes to be a country. The complications in that sentence alone could fill several pages of my blog; right now however, it is not where I want to navigate...though it does influence my existence here.
I find the blanket of oppression heavy here and prayer difficult oftentimes. My own behaviour as a Child of God inappropriate at times, and yet, when I gear up and engage in battle and the Holy Spirit does things that are far more "impressive" than what I had ever seen in my previous season of existence!
When I think that God can no longer use me...I decide that I have nothing to lose, so I speak out boldly and WHAM, God moves. He moves through me and I see a side of God that I had not yet encountered! I am not out evangelizing, speaking the Word of God like a seasoned theologian, I am just me trying to bring some love and peace into the hearts and minds of others in the way I was taught. And despite me, the Holy Spirit brings what is needed to do what He wants done...and I am left humbled and in awe.
Around me are people who have no clue that they are loved by their Creator and that life is not about the money, the next party, the next partner, the next toy, the prestige, the next church building, or church service, it is not about any other thing/event you can dream of. It is about the desire to know Him every moment of every day.
~
I have been struggling with what life should look like for me. I am, in a way, at the precipice of another new season. I am beginning to realize that life for each of us is the same but different...and it is a good thing, a liberating thing. I do not have to have the 2.5 kids, white picket fence, and so on (however you have been brainwashed into idealizing existence). And regardless of what my life does look like, it is this desire to know God that will overflow into how I live and what others see and moved by...even despite my imperfections. It is a journey of adjustment...neverending......To be cont'd....
Friday, May 20, 2011
Extreme Home Makeover and Empathy
Extreme Home Makeover - great show. Inevitably, as the show goes on to the part where the homeowners see their new home for the first time, I cry...I cry with them. On yesterday's show, the homeowner was from Jamaica and grew up without shoes. The EHM team coordinated an effort where 1000 shoes would be sent back to the homeowner's school in Jamaica, at which point, I cried along with the homeowner.
I cry when there is heartfelt emotion. Generally, I am not a crier, but when I sense strong emotion from others, it is like I become sucked in through a strong vortex and become entwined in their moment. It is uncontrollable...the wave of emotion that wells up...and for that moment, I feel connected by something greater than myself. I can only attribute this experience to God and to how He created us.
Empathy... "Empathy is an ability with many different definitions. They cover a broad spectrum, ranging from feeling a concern for other people that creates a desire to help them, experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions, knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, to blurring the line between self and other."
We need empathy in our world today. We need to allow ourselves to feel the joy, the sorrow, the hurt, the anger of others...to view the moment or the world through the experiences of others. The reason why I say this is that without empathy we become calloused and cold to the truth. Truth.
In having empathy, we are able to offer mercy and love. The world around us is very quick to condemn us, hate us, and attempt to destroy whatever hope we may have. It is a fear thing. But with the Holy Spirit, we can overcome this pattern in the world by allowing Him to work in us and through us, allow ourselves to feel empathy and act upon it. For some of us that is easier said than done; however, it is possible because it is not us making it happen, it is God working in and through us. Perhaps it is something we need to pray for...the ability to see with His eyes, to hear with His ears, and to respond with His heart...
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,...
...so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.~Romans 15:5-6
I cry when there is heartfelt emotion. Generally, I am not a crier, but when I sense strong emotion from others, it is like I become sucked in through a strong vortex and become entwined in their moment. It is uncontrollable...the wave of emotion that wells up...and for that moment, I feel connected by something greater than myself. I can only attribute this experience to God and to how He created us.
Empathy... "Empathy is an ability with many different definitions. They cover a broad spectrum, ranging from feeling a concern for other people that creates a desire to help them, experiencing emotions that match another person's emotions, knowing what the other person is thinking or feeling, to blurring the line between self and other."
We need empathy in our world today. We need to allow ourselves to feel the joy, the sorrow, the hurt, the anger of others...to view the moment or the world through the experiences of others. The reason why I say this is that without empathy we become calloused and cold to the truth. Truth.
In having empathy, we are able to offer mercy and love. The world around us is very quick to condemn us, hate us, and attempt to destroy whatever hope we may have. It is a fear thing. But with the Holy Spirit, we can overcome this pattern in the world by allowing Him to work in us and through us, allow ourselves to feel empathy and act upon it. For some of us that is easier said than done; however, it is possible because it is not us making it happen, it is God working in and through us. Perhaps it is something we need to pray for...the ability to see with His eyes, to hear with His ears, and to respond with His heart...
May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,...
...so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.~Romans 15:5-6
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
How To Avoid Legalism and Religiosity
Have you read Job 20 lately?
Just to refresh your memory, one of Job's friends voices his opinion on the state of Job's condition. Zophar, Job's friend, may be explaining correctly the woes of the wicked, but in Job's case, his comments are entirely misdirected.
It is not uncommon for people to misdirect their comments, or judge a circumstance inappropriately. We do it all the time. We want things to make sense in our world and when people enter our lives with a situation that we don't comprehend, we impose our understanding upon them.
Our interpretation of right and wrong governs how we respond to others, even if we do not have all the facts (though we may think we do - which is rarely the case).
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.~Eph.4:1-3
Just to refresh your memory, one of Job's friends voices his opinion on the state of Job's condition. Zophar, Job's friend, may be explaining correctly the woes of the wicked, but in Job's case, his comments are entirely misdirected.
It is not uncommon for people to misdirect their comments, or judge a circumstance inappropriately. We do it all the time. We want things to make sense in our world and when people enter our lives with a situation that we don't comprehend, we impose our understanding upon them.
Our interpretation of right and wrong governs how we respond to others, even if we do not have all the facts (though we may think we do - which is rarely the case).
As Christians, we are called to help our brothers and sisters in their walk with God, yet oftentimes our help is misappropriated and becomes more damaging and less helpful. It is like telling someone you will help them up the mountain and then placing a boulder or a mountain goat in their path.
How do we avoid doing this?
Imposing our interpretation of right and wrong is the foundation to legalism and religiosity. We want to avoid falling into this type of bondage.
Letting the Holy Spirit guide our words and actions, sharing the Word in love, with humility, and walking with the person through hardship would be an ideal response.
It is not always easy to do this, and to be very frank, there are times when your "help" is best exercised in your prayer closet. Imposing our understanding of the situation and our idea of the solution must be tempered by the guidance of the Holy Spirit; otherwise, legalism and religiosity rule our heads and our hearts. Stay cognizant of this.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Desires of Our Heart - A Repost Reminder
I have been trying to get to Texas for the past 6 or so years. I am not entirely sure why. I have just been drawn to that area. I have had several opportunities to go over these years, but each opportunity was lost because of various "more pressing" circumstances. (Most of which now, I cannot recall.) That being said, I finally made it to Texas earlier this month and I fell in love. I fell in love with Texas Hill Country. I did not want to leave, yet I had to return to Canada. I hope to return to Texas in the near future and continue exploring where I left off; however, I must leave that desire in the hand of God. Why do I mention this trip? Well, it has to do with the desires of our heart. I, for so long, wanted something...drawn to it...some days doubting that it would ever occur. I put it on the back burner of my mind always ready to embrace should I have the opportunity. The opportunity was presented - God did not forget me - and I went for it. The interesting thing is that I had an opportunity to go elsewhere at this time, a trip that would have been considered more admirable than my trip to Texas; however, my heart cried out loudly and I prayerfully chose to answer the cry.
The distractions that interfere with our heart's desire can be so obnoxiously pressing, and yet so charming at the same time, that the spirit of confusion can waltz right in and sway our thinking causing us to lose our focus. This time I denied the distraction.
Our hearts thirst for the Water of Life. Driven by desires that mysteriously form deep within our being, crafted by our life experience and overseen by our Creator. The desire of our heart ultimately draws us closer to God; however, we can and do get distracted and try to satisfy these desires with less-than-satiable replicas of want.
Be careful of distractions. Listen to your heart. Commune with God. Trust.
I can look back on my choice to go south and know that it was the right decision for the time. It is all about God's timing for our lives. I guess those other opportunities in the past would not have spoken to my heart the way the timing of this trip did. I will not explore the "why now and not a previous time?", I am content to know that God did not forget me, that the temptation of distraction did not cheat me, and my heart's desires can and will be answered because my God cares about me - He cares about what is best for me each season of my life.
He cares about you and the desires of your heart also, trust Him.
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Money
Weeks and months go by and I struggle with my own perception of right and wrong. I am having my eyes opened to the realities of the world...of the hearts of man. I realize I have lived in quite a bubble for so many years that what I thought was "normal" is more "unique" than anything else.
For example: Money.
I loathe money...Now that is...
I was quite apathetic towards money for most of my life. It was there when I needed it and when it wasn't, I just made due.
I am learning that money is something that holds man captive far more than I thought possible. (...remember: bubble existence) The scripture that says:
"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."~1 Timothy 6:10
It is the "love" of money that is evil. Letting money govern our decisions, our hearts, and consume our existence is the norm...or so I am learning. Our society depends on this.
For example: Money.
I loathe money...Now that is...
I was quite apathetic towards money for most of my life. It was there when I needed it and when it wasn't, I just made due.
I am learning that money is something that holds man captive far more than I thought possible. (...remember: bubble existence) The scripture that says:
"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."~1 Timothy 6:10
It is the "love" of money that is evil. Letting money govern our decisions, our hearts, and consume our existence is the norm...or so I am learning. Our society depends on this.
*POP*
Monday, March 15, 2010
Being Self-Aware
Last night, or rather, in the wee hours of this morning, I had lots of time to think. I drove my mom to the airport so she could catch her flight and on the near empty highway, I found myself reflecting on an exprerience that I had earlier that day. I encountered a person from a church that I used to attend in the past. The conversation was polite, but even as I was talking with them I felt my guard go up. Then the condescending tone creeped into their voice and the enemy of my soul began to play upon all my insecurities. It was a well arranged script to instill oppression upon my being. The good thing was that I was aware of what was going on and I was in constant prayer throughout (and after) the encounter.
You see, in the past, I would let an encounter like that completely get to me, wallowing in self-pity and playing victim to the devil. I would strengthen his army by allowing his lies to get to me. However, by resisting him, he must flee. James 4:7
Being self-aware it so very important in our walk with God. I am not talking about a new-agey kind of self-awareness, but rather an awareness that means to be cognitive of how you are responding to the environment around you - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This is not something that usually comes naturally, but it is something that you can learn and apply to every situation that you encounter. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.~1 Peter 5:8
Next time you start to get your defenses up, put yourself in check. Pray. Breathe. And remember that we are at war. The enemy of your soul wants you to be distracted from the Love and Truth of Jesus Christ, to the point of destroying you any way he can. But, you - if you believe Jesus is who He says He is and have asked Him into your Life, to forgive you and be your Lord and Saviour - you are more than conquerors. Romans 8
You are equipped: Go here to find out how.
You see, in the past, I would let an encounter like that completely get to me, wallowing in self-pity and playing victim to the devil. I would strengthen his army by allowing his lies to get to me. However, by resisting him, he must flee. James 4:7
Being self-aware it so very important in our walk with God. I am not talking about a new-agey kind of self-awareness, but rather an awareness that means to be cognitive of how you are responding to the environment around you - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This is not something that usually comes naturally, but it is something that you can learn and apply to every situation that you encounter. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.~1 Peter 5:8
Next time you start to get your defenses up, put yourself in check. Pray. Breathe. And remember that we are at war. The enemy of your soul wants you to be distracted from the Love and Truth of Jesus Christ, to the point of destroying you any way he can. But, you - if you believe Jesus is who He says He is and have asked Him into your Life, to forgive you and be your Lord and Saviour - you are more than conquerors. Romans 8
You are equipped: Go here to find out how.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Truth and Perspective
How does finding out the truth change your perspective? I recently found out some disturbing information about the house I am currently residing in, not the house itself per se, but the previous owners and their activities within this house. Before I came here; however, I prayed. I prayed over the house and property as the Holy Spirit led. I claimed this house. When I found out this info, I looked at my house differently, yet I know what I know. This house is given to me by God for this season. I look at it like this: I am here for now and the legacy I leave in this house and on this property is directed to God's glory and whoever moves in here next, prayerfully, will be blessed by what I have done here - physically and spiritually.
Though I like this house, it is just a house. My heart pains for the previous owners, their season of being in this house was obviously rough for them. There is an attitude of shame when people speak of them in this place.
What I know of the original owners (the family that built this house way back in 1892), is that they were hard workers with much influence in the community, though not necessarily gratuitous financial influence. Their legacy associated with this place lives on favourably in many minds.
I only know a small part of each previous owner's story. The bits and pieces I have gleaned over the past few months are only a minute part of the truth of their existence. And, regardless of what I have learned, I am choosing to believe that this house was once a place of fellowship, love, and peace.
Isn't that, so often, how we operate? Regardless of the truth, we choose to believe what we want to be true. Goodness! That is why we have so many Christian denominations, and religions for that matter! That aside, I know that believing the truth we want to be true can cause much heartache.
From personal experience, I went through a period where I was defamed, alienated from (what I thought were) friends and family, and even my church because some people sought to take a truth and twist it into horrid lies. (Sound familiar?) What they wanted to believe negated the truth of what was. And it caused me (among others) much heartache...I am still recovering.
When Eve and Adam, listened to the deception of Satan, they exchanged truth for what they wanted to believe...and that ended in heartache for not only them, but all humanity!
How does finding out the truth change your perspective?
When those of us learn of the truth of Jesus and what He did for us, we choose to believe or we choose not to believe...It is our choice. We cannot change the Truth. It exists regardless of what we want to believe. It is how we respond to that truth that determines how we live out our life and how much heartache we experience and cause others to experience.
Proverbs 23:23
Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.
John 5:24
"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."
Acts 20:30
Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.
Romans 1:25
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Though I like this house, it is just a house. My heart pains for the previous owners, their season of being in this house was obviously rough for them. There is an attitude of shame when people speak of them in this place.
What I know of the original owners (the family that built this house way back in 1892), is that they were hard workers with much influence in the community, though not necessarily gratuitous financial influence. Their legacy associated with this place lives on favourably in many minds.
I only know a small part of each previous owner's story. The bits and pieces I have gleaned over the past few months are only a minute part of the truth of their existence. And, regardless of what I have learned, I am choosing to believe that this house was once a place of fellowship, love, and peace.
Isn't that, so often, how we operate? Regardless of the truth, we choose to believe what we want to be true. Goodness! That is why we have so many Christian denominations, and religions for that matter! That aside, I know that believing the truth we want to be true can cause much heartache.
From personal experience, I went through a period where I was defamed, alienated from (what I thought were) friends and family, and even my church because some people sought to take a truth and twist it into horrid lies. (Sound familiar?) What they wanted to believe negated the truth of what was. And it caused me (among others) much heartache...I am still recovering.
When Eve and Adam, listened to the deception of Satan, they exchanged truth for what they wanted to believe...and that ended in heartache for not only them, but all humanity!
How does finding out the truth change your perspective?
When those of us learn of the truth of Jesus and what He did for us, we choose to believe or we choose not to believe...It is our choice. We cannot change the Truth. It exists regardless of what we want to believe. It is how we respond to that truth that determines how we live out our life and how much heartache we experience and cause others to experience.
Proverbs 23:23
Buy the truth and do not sell it; get wisdom, discipline and understanding.
John 5:24
"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."
Acts 20:30
Even from your own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them.
Romans 1:25
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Your Deepest, Darkest Secrets...
Last week, I was with a client for coffee. We were having a great time discussing this, that, and the other thing. But two things happened when he spoke with me. First, he interrupted our stream of conversation to apologize for something that he felt convicted to address. This was not a problem by any means. It was a little surprising perhaps because I didn't give the offense much thought, but it did weigh on his heart and I forgave him all the same. The other thing that emerged was his deep concern that I would not like him, that I would reject him because of his past. You see, right now, some of the people I work with are part of the disenfranchised population; those may include men coming out of the penal system, drug addicts, those with mental health problems...you know, those who the church is suppose to reach out to, but instead (and unfortunately), the church runs screaming the other way, or rather, tiptoes as quietly as possible back to the comfort and "security" of their pew so as not to alert the disenfranchised that they had even seen them.*
I work mainly with men. And some of the crimes these men have committed are more than many people would care to deal with, understandably so. The crime this man had committed had completely destroyed his known world, leaving him all alone, except for the transition network of support in place to help him and keep him accountable while reintegrating into society. This man was absolutely broken to think that I would reject him because of his past. It is a heavy burden that he carries with him. My heart broke for him.
Perhaps you can relate. How many times have you engaged in a relationship where you were elated to know a person - you have fun together or you have a deep respect for the person, but the deeper into the relationship you go, the more guarded you become. Perhaps you begin to distance yourself from that person because you are afraid that if they find out about some dark deed of your past and they will reject you because of it. You would rather sabotage the relationship yourself than expose your past, potentially leaving you vulnerable and rejected...or so you assume. Ironically, it is your past that has been a part of shaping the person who you are today. We all make mistakes, wrong choices, and act foolishly, but as a part of growing and maturing, we learn from our errors. This is not to say that the hurt caused as of a consequence of these errors is to be overlooked. It is the fact that we all do this at some point in our relationships...hide the past, tuck that life and person away never to be found by anybody on this planet...
Your deepest, darkest secrets hidden away forever...
God was there though. He was watching you while you engaged in whatever act you engaged in. He didn't close His eyes and turn His head, He didn't walk the other way in disgust, He may have tried to get your attention and prevent you from continuing, but you didn't listen, perhaps you didn't want to listen...He was there though. He watched your every move, He heard your heart, He knew your thoughts...He was there.
Yet, God still calls out to you with love.
Yes, He was there, but He still wants to have a relationship with you. He longs for you to turn to Him, not sabotage the relationship by making excuses and turning away from Him. He wants you to come to Him just as you are and together with Him, you can be forgiven, healed, and set free from your past. It is between you and Him.
And though getting to know God usually involves Him sending people into your life to help you...such as Pastors, neighbours, friends, counsellors, strangers...(God does work in mysterious ways at times.) He will not give up in pursuing you. He is relentless in drawing you closer to Him, to know Him, to know forgiveness, to know freedom, to know love...His unconditional love.
And we, as the Body of Christ, are called to reach out to the disenfranchised, along with everybody else, with the Love of Jesus. We are not called to judge, He is the judge, we are called to love. I take this seriously. The wrongs that we commit will be judged by God, make no mistake. Yet, when I come across another whose heart is broken and repentant for the sins of their past, who am I to continue to treat them with contempt and condemnation? My personal mission in life is to walk with God, to encourage others, and to glorify God...and the only way I can do that is to do as Jesus did. What about you?
*I fully recognize that there are some churches that do reach out without apology, unfortunately there are some that don't...pray that they would reach out with the Love and Truth of Christ Jesus.
Repost
I work mainly with men. And some of the crimes these men have committed are more than many people would care to deal with, understandably so. The crime this man had committed had completely destroyed his known world, leaving him all alone, except for the transition network of support in place to help him and keep him accountable while reintegrating into society. This man was absolutely broken to think that I would reject him because of his past. It is a heavy burden that he carries with him. My heart broke for him.
Perhaps you can relate. How many times have you engaged in a relationship where you were elated to know a person - you have fun together or you have a deep respect for the person, but the deeper into the relationship you go, the more guarded you become. Perhaps you begin to distance yourself from that person because you are afraid that if they find out about some dark deed of your past and they will reject you because of it. You would rather sabotage the relationship yourself than expose your past, potentially leaving you vulnerable and rejected...or so you assume. Ironically, it is your past that has been a part of shaping the person who you are today. We all make mistakes, wrong choices, and act foolishly, but as a part of growing and maturing, we learn from our errors. This is not to say that the hurt caused as of a consequence of these errors is to be overlooked. It is the fact that we all do this at some point in our relationships...hide the past, tuck that life and person away never to be found by anybody on this planet...
Your deepest, darkest secrets hidden away forever...
God was there though. He was watching you while you engaged in whatever act you engaged in. He didn't close His eyes and turn His head, He didn't walk the other way in disgust, He may have tried to get your attention and prevent you from continuing, but you didn't listen, perhaps you didn't want to listen...He was there though. He watched your every move, He heard your heart, He knew your thoughts...He was there.
Yet, God still calls out to you with love.
Yes, He was there, but He still wants to have a relationship with you. He longs for you to turn to Him, not sabotage the relationship by making excuses and turning away from Him. He wants you to come to Him just as you are and together with Him, you can be forgiven, healed, and set free from your past. It is between you and Him.
And though getting to know God usually involves Him sending people into your life to help you...such as Pastors, neighbours, friends, counsellors, strangers...(God does work in mysterious ways at times.) He will not give up in pursuing you. He is relentless in drawing you closer to Him, to know Him, to know forgiveness, to know freedom, to know love...His unconditional love.
And we, as the Body of Christ, are called to reach out to the disenfranchised, along with everybody else, with the Love of Jesus. We are not called to judge, He is the judge, we are called to love. I take this seriously. The wrongs that we commit will be judged by God, make no mistake. Yet, when I come across another whose heart is broken and repentant for the sins of their past, who am I to continue to treat them with contempt and condemnation? My personal mission in life is to walk with God, to encourage others, and to glorify God...and the only way I can do that is to do as Jesus did. What about you?
*I fully recognize that there are some churches that do reach out without apology, unfortunately there are some that don't...pray that they would reach out with the Love and Truth of Christ Jesus.
Repost
Monday, March 23, 2009
Assuming
Have you ever heard that saying that to "assume" makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me"?
How many times have you made assumptions about people and circumstances that have ended up being to your embarrassment?
I know I have done this many a time in the past and I have since tried to be self-aware so as to prevent myself from coming to faulty conclusions. Often, unfortunately, we tend to have a habit of feeding our own beliefs, biases, desires about things and people whether they are fact or fiction.
For example, you see a person you know coming in your direction and you are waiting for them to greet you, but they don't, they walk right on by, not even seeming to notice you. You start to make assumptions....perhaps you think that the reason why that person didn't greet you was because you are unlikeable....
Wait!....You're not?? I mean, you are likeable? You didn't offend them did you? ...No? Hmmmm...
Then why would you get all in a knot because that person did not greet you this morning? That person might have had something going on in their world that has greatly distracted them. Perhaps they need your prayer, not your insecurities?
Assuming can destroy friendships, marriages...any relationship. Assuming tends to be more destructive than constructive, ever noticed that? We tend to assume the worst instead of the best.
Remember in Acts 16 when the jailer assumed the prisoners had all taken off - That guy made a wrong assumption and was about to commit suicide! Thank Goodness that Paul spoke up to the Glory of God or that story may have had a very different ending!
My point is: assuming - don't do it. Don't make assumptions about people's motives to the detriment of your own heart, your own well-being. People do things for many varied reasons - right or wrong. Take your concern to prayer. Confront the person if you must (but in a Christ-like manner). Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Everyone has a story, everyone loses themselves in another world, everyone has bad days, everyone is fighting a battle. And remember, most often, assuming makes an ass out of u and me.
How many times have you made assumptions about people and circumstances that have ended up being to your embarrassment?
I know I have done this many a time in the past and I have since tried to be self-aware so as to prevent myself from coming to faulty conclusions. Often, unfortunately, we tend to have a habit of feeding our own beliefs, biases, desires about things and people whether they are fact or fiction.
For example, you see a person you know coming in your direction and you are waiting for them to greet you, but they don't, they walk right on by, not even seeming to notice you. You start to make assumptions....perhaps you think that the reason why that person didn't greet you was because you are unlikeable....
Wait!....You're not?? I mean, you are likeable? You didn't offend them did you? ...No? Hmmmm...
Then why would you get all in a knot because that person did not greet you this morning? That person might have had something going on in their world that has greatly distracted them. Perhaps they need your prayer, not your insecurities?
Assuming can destroy friendships, marriages...any relationship. Assuming tends to be more destructive than constructive, ever noticed that? We tend to assume the worst instead of the best.
Remember in Acts 16 when the jailer assumed the prisoners had all taken off - That guy made a wrong assumption and was about to commit suicide! Thank Goodness that Paul spoke up to the Glory of God or that story may have had a very different ending!
My point is: assuming - don't do it. Don't make assumptions about people's motives to the detriment of your own heart, your own well-being. People do things for many varied reasons - right or wrong. Take your concern to prayer. Confront the person if you must (but in a Christ-like manner). Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Everyone has a story, everyone loses themselves in another world, everyone has bad days, everyone is fighting a battle. And remember, most often, assuming makes an ass out of u and me.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wandering and Pondering
So, last night I had some significant time to wander and ponder....a dangerous combination...
I spent some time surfing the net, checking out links of people who are somehow important to other people and I read some interesting stuff and some not-so-interesting stuff - not to me anyhow. What was interesting was how quickly the connections from one person to the next led to...let's say...undesirable content. Not necessarily just porn or "anger pages", but also into a focus of existence that is dark and simply Godless.
It was somewhat surprising, but totally reasonable when you think about it.
It got me to thinking about how success/leadership advice often suggests that you should surround yourself with successful people or people you want to be like because the people that you do interact with regularly will have a definite and powerful impact on your existence.
This is one of the reasons we steer our kids into hanging out with the "right crowd." We know the impact of peer pressure on kids and we try to protect them by encouraging them to associate with certain individuals of positive qualities versus others that we see as less desirable.
Hmmm...We determine another's worth - their value to us - every time we do this. I am not saying that this is a bad thing necessarily. We are wise to steer clear of persons and personalities that could be toxic to our well-being; however, we really do not escape judging others and we assign them a measure of worth relative to us.
The lesson here? Well, let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart on this one.
He spoke to me as I wandered and pondered...like I mentioned, it is a dangerous combination, because if I let God be a part of my wandering and pondering, there can be conviction - which leads me to humbling myself and making change in the way I think or do....which is a good thing, just not necessarily an easy thing.
And that is my thought for today.
Smiles and Blessings to you ~mistipearl:)
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-3 (in Context) Matthew 7 (Whole Chapter)
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:25-27 (in Context) Proverbs 12 (Whole Chapter)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Lessons from Stories
What a beautiful morning, chilly, but beautiful! Perhaps I will go for a walk later on. Right now, my mind keeps drifting back to the people I have encountered over the past 5 or 6 days...There are many stories that have formed my week past - some tragic, some lonely, some exciting, some joyful...I am reflecting upon the lessons learned with each encounter.
I have learned that dying alone is socially taboo in my community. The interesting thing is that even though family (and any friends that might have been) refuse to sit with the dying, God, I believe, still sends His ministering angels...the person is never truly alone. I have also learned that being alone at the end of your life or during illness gives you too much time to think - usually self-condemning thoughts. I have also learned that my heart leans towards wanting to put aside my scheduled activity to fill a gap of need in others. Which is sometimes not possible. Either I must maintain my schedule or the gap of need I want to fill cannot be met by me - my intervention is not the answer.
I have learned that there is opportunity in the oddest places. This being said, I have also learned that I need to organize my information and research more effectively so I have more time to synthesize and create instead of spending copious amounts of time searching for what I need!
Something else that was reinforced in my thinking this week speaks from the Word of God that says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" Romans 12:14-16 is an important response to strengthen relationships and when you respond contrary to these words, relationship is impaired. Talking to someone who is self-absorbed all the time is disheartening and even though you want to be there for them, it can be difficult to engage in a friendship that takes without sincerely giving back. I have learned this from both ends of the equation....
One other thing I have learned is that God does work through me to the benefit of others, and even though I recognize that it is entirely Him at work, the thanks given by the beneficiaries is misdirected and I do not (to my shame) always openly redirect the thanksgiving to where it belongs...to God...It should be thanks to God alone. From this, I am resolving to respond with redirecting credit where credit is due; with this I need God to help me. It does not come naturally and it is something I need to work on with sincerity and grace.
Lessons from stories...
Stories...so many stories woven together in a tapestry of magnificent design. We all are each a thread in this masterpiece and I find it exciting and interesting to watch, participate, and know that my story is a part of a much larger story...as John Eldredge says, "For when you were born, you were born into an Epic that has already been under way for quite some time. It is a Story of beauty and intimacy and adventure, a Story of danger and loss and heroism and betrayal."
(Excerpt taken from Epic,)
I have learned that dying alone is socially taboo in my community. The interesting thing is that even though family (and any friends that might have been) refuse to sit with the dying, God, I believe, still sends His ministering angels...the person is never truly alone. I have also learned that being alone at the end of your life or during illness gives you too much time to think - usually self-condemning thoughts. I have also learned that my heart leans towards wanting to put aside my scheduled activity to fill a gap of need in others. Which is sometimes not possible. Either I must maintain my schedule or the gap of need I want to fill cannot be met by me - my intervention is not the answer.
I have learned that there is opportunity in the oddest places. This being said, I have also learned that I need to organize my information and research more effectively so I have more time to synthesize and create instead of spending copious amounts of time searching for what I need!
Something else that was reinforced in my thinking this week speaks from the Word of God that says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" Romans 12:14-16 is an important response to strengthen relationships and when you respond contrary to these words, relationship is impaired. Talking to someone who is self-absorbed all the time is disheartening and even though you want to be there for them, it can be difficult to engage in a friendship that takes without sincerely giving back. I have learned this from both ends of the equation....
One other thing I have learned is that God does work through me to the benefit of others, and even though I recognize that it is entirely Him at work, the thanks given by the beneficiaries is misdirected and I do not (to my shame) always openly redirect the thanksgiving to where it belongs...to God...It should be thanks to God alone. From this, I am resolving to respond with redirecting credit where credit is due; with this I need God to help me. It does not come naturally and it is something I need to work on with sincerity and grace.
Lessons from stories...
Stories...so many stories woven together in a tapestry of magnificent design. We all are each a thread in this masterpiece and I find it exciting and interesting to watch, participate, and know that my story is a part of a much larger story...as John Eldredge says, "For when you were born, you were born into an Epic that has already been under way for quite some time. It is a Story of beauty and intimacy and adventure, a Story of danger and loss and heroism and betrayal."
(Excerpt taken from Epic,)
Are you learning any lessons from the stories interwoven in your life? If you are so inclined, I would love to hear them...
Saturday, January 10, 2009
A 'Revelationary' Moment
Well, I'll be...Did you ever have one of those 'revelationary' moments that strike you not only between the eyes, but straight to the core of your heart?? I just did. Oi! I have been sitting here for months (and months) trying to figure something out and then out of the blue, rather out of a rather painful moment of submission to God, it revealed itself.
If you are wondering what "it" is, I cannot - will not say, except that I had gone over every angle of my understanding, even stretching into the realm of absurd to bring sense to things. Though this 'revelationary' moment does not bring me complete understanding, it does, once again, reinforce to me, the absolute truth of the scripture that states, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55
How often do we look at a situation with our limited capacity to understand and presume to have it all figured out? We even go to esteemed others in our lives asking their opinion/interpretation of the matter and they spit out the same things you also have concluded...I mean, it makes sense right?! Others have done it this way and why would I be an exception, right? ...And then the Lord goes and opens our eyes such that we can see a bit clearer, a little further - and WHAM - revelation!
However, with this new insight also comes a new level of trust. There is assurance that God is indeed at work and that He still has your best interest at hand; there is also a renewed realization that He is bringing you closer and deeper into His heart - and that thought is exciting and terrifying all in the same breath! This means that I must steadfastly commit to Him, His Purpose for me, His Will for my life without compromise....This means self-discipline. (And in my mind, I am muttering to myself that 'procrastination' is now one of my enemies in the front lines of my battle, among others...) I need to trust Him wholeheartedly.
Am I up for the challenge? Am I battle ready?
Its time to consult with my King...the battle continues, my walk with God takes on a new stride, and my love for Him grows deeper and deeper...He really cares about me and He does have His Best intended for me...
Thank you Abba.
If you are wondering what "it" is, I cannot - will not say, except that I had gone over every angle of my understanding, even stretching into the realm of absurd to bring sense to things. Though this 'revelationary' moment does not bring me complete understanding, it does, once again, reinforce to me, the absolute truth of the scripture that states, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55
How often do we look at a situation with our limited capacity to understand and presume to have it all figured out? We even go to esteemed others in our lives asking their opinion/interpretation of the matter and they spit out the same things you also have concluded...I mean, it makes sense right?! Others have done it this way and why would I be an exception, right? ...And then the Lord goes and opens our eyes such that we can see a bit clearer, a little further - and WHAM - revelation!
However, with this new insight also comes a new level of trust. There is assurance that God is indeed at work and that He still has your best interest at hand; there is also a renewed realization that He is bringing you closer and deeper into His heart - and that thought is exciting and terrifying all in the same breath! This means that I must steadfastly commit to Him, His Purpose for me, His Will for my life without compromise....This means self-discipline. (And in my mind, I am muttering to myself that 'procrastination' is now one of my enemies in the front lines of my battle, among others...) I need to trust Him wholeheartedly.
Am I up for the challenge? Am I battle ready?
Its time to consult with my King...the battle continues, my walk with God takes on a new stride, and my love for Him grows deeper and deeper...He really cares about me and He does have His Best intended for me...
Thank you Abba.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Communication - Its Not All About You
Its not all about you, you know.
What?! What makes you think I think its all about me?
Well, the last time we spoke, it was all about you.
No, it was not.
Yes, it was. What did you learn about me?
Well...you said you had a blah day. There. That was about you.
Uh-huh...do you know why it was a blah day? Did you ask me that?
...Ye...maybe...Okay, no. But I didn't figure there was much to a "blah day" worth talking about.
Right....so, talking on and on about the track of your snowmobile was worth discussing?
Well, yeah...
For 3 hours straight?!?
It was broken. That was important to me.
And I am not?
What?! What makes you think I think its all about me?
Well, the last time we spoke, it was all about you.
No, it was not.
Yes, it was. What did you learn about me?
Well...you said you had a blah day. There. That was about you.
Uh-huh...do you know why it was a blah day? Did you ask me that?
...Ye...maybe...Okay, no. But I didn't figure there was much to a "blah day" worth talking about.
Right....so, talking on and on about the track of your snowmobile was worth discussing?
Well, yeah...
For 3 hours straight?!?
It was broken. That was important to me.
And I am not?
Monday, December 15, 2008
Honest - Being True to Oneself
I posted this in June of this year and it has been getting a lot of hits over the past several months, so I thought I would re-post it.
Truly, standing up and taking on the challenge of becoming all that you are meant to be is not an easy task, but it must be done; otherwise, you will always have an emptiness and a longing that will never be fulfilled. Only God can fill that void and He will fill that void if you let Him. I encourage you to be relentless in pursuing God, He is relentless in pursuing you, even when you stop and turn away from Him, He still gently draws you back. This Christmas season is as good as time as any to turn your heart towards the God who formed you, who knows you, who loves you, and desires you to know Him...intimately.
Take the Journey, be true to yourself by being true to our King...He is calling you out, He is calling you to Himself...Go.
~mp:)
Honest, genuine, truth, being true to oneself...being true to oneself...In these past few weeks I have been struggling with the issue of who I am, in the sense that I know I am a child of God, but am I living such that others see it and does my behaviour stir others towards God or away from Him?
This has been a difficult time because, as God works in me, I have been confronting deep set fears that I thought I had either squashed or removed from my psyche .
You see, I grew up in the Anglican church...not a bad thing, I learned that Jesus loves me. What I didn't learn was that I could have a personal relationship with God - rather, God was untouchable, an entity to fear and respect, not someone I could get to know, who would care about me and my concerns (even the most seemingly insignificant of worries).
And even though fearing God is spoken of in the Bible, it was emphasized out of context in the church...unfortunately, like so many things are...
That being said, God is gracious...He knows my heart and He knew I was searching Him out. Over the years I attended many different denominations, each one with its problems and each one with a purpose to fill in society leading people to Christ. Do not think for one moment that God does not use different denominations, despite their misguided theology or whatever the grievance we perceive to be a shame. God works in and through all things to His Glory and to our benefit.
I remember one church I attended that was very charismatic - I learned many things there and my walk with the Lord grew and I grew in faith. The one thing that stood out to me the most though, was when the pastor said (more than once), "If you do not find God here, feel free to go somewhere else. Just find God!" What he was implying was that if this particular worship environment didn't help you grow to know God better, go look elsewhere, you are not bound to this congregation just because you have gone here for 'how many' years. Ironically, my family thought I was nuts to go to this church...some were quite disgusted that I would leave the 'family' tradition and search for God elsewhere. But they didn't understand. I was searching for a deeper more meaningful relationship with God. God was leading me. He was revealing Himself to me in new ways. Through different people, different worship styles, different...different from what I was used to, different from what I was comfortable with, different from what I expected.
You see, God was showing me that He is everywhere. Really everywhere, not just in a church building, not just in a specific denomination, He works through people, circumstances, and places I would have never fathomed. And He was answering my prayers...to know Him intimately.
So, over the years, I have had some really wonderful experiences with God, I have also had some incredibly difficult years where I, quite honestly, would not like to repeat. What I have learned through all of this is that even though I think I am letting God be the Great I AM, I still have Him in a box of my own understanding. He destroys the box to show me He will not be contained, that He is uncontainable and thus, I grow in my understanding of Him and my love for Him more and more. His love for me remains the same...unconditional and deeper than I know.
This is where being true to oneself comes in, I know God is bigger than all my problems, I know God loves me and want me to grow in that love, I want to grow in His love; however, He keeps challenging me. I like a good challenge, sure, but when it tears to your core and makes you realize your own shortcomings, your own sin...well, it is uncomfortable, to say the least.
Lately, I have been challenged to step out and do and speak and write what I know and believe. For all to see. I am vulnerable. I am not a Bible scholar. I have so many faults and fears that I want to use as excuses to avoid sharing the Truth of Jesus Christ, but God is calling me out. He will not leave me alone, He is stretching me - and as uncomfortable as it is, I desire this more than anything - to grow in the love and knowledge of Jesus and to share with others. This means that I need to be bold - (I talk fearlessness and now I must walk fearlessness) - this means I need to rely on God more and more, which is easier said than done.
I am glad God has brought me to this place in my life (I am sad that I made the journey to this point more difficult than what I could have - that's what relying on self and not on God leads to though...sigh). I pray you would see the honest struggle that I, as a Christian, face and be encouraged...somehow...Being a child of God, a believer, does not mean we have it all together and have all the answers, it means we recognize who we are...I am not the Great I AM, but by the grace of God, I am who I am.
Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. Psalm 111:9-10 (in Context) Psalm 111 (Whole Chapter)
Truly, standing up and taking on the challenge of becoming all that you are meant to be is not an easy task, but it must be done; otherwise, you will always have an emptiness and a longing that will never be fulfilled. Only God can fill that void and He will fill that void if you let Him. I encourage you to be relentless in pursuing God, He is relentless in pursuing you, even when you stop and turn away from Him, He still gently draws you back. This Christmas season is as good as time as any to turn your heart towards the God who formed you, who knows you, who loves you, and desires you to know Him...intimately.
Take the Journey, be true to yourself by being true to our King...He is calling you out, He is calling you to Himself...Go.
~mp:)
Honest, genuine, truth, being true to oneself...being true to oneself...In these past few weeks I have been struggling with the issue of who I am, in the sense that I know I am a child of God, but am I living such that others see it and does my behaviour stir others towards God or away from Him?
This has been a difficult time because, as God works in me, I have been confronting deep set fears that I thought I had either squashed or removed from my psyche .
You see, I grew up in the Anglican church...not a bad thing, I learned that Jesus loves me. What I didn't learn was that I could have a personal relationship with God - rather, God was untouchable, an entity to fear and respect, not someone I could get to know, who would care about me and my concerns (even the most seemingly insignificant of worries).
And even though fearing God is spoken of in the Bible, it was emphasized out of context in the church...unfortunately, like so many things are...
That being said, God is gracious...He knows my heart and He knew I was searching Him out. Over the years I attended many different denominations, each one with its problems and each one with a purpose to fill in society leading people to Christ. Do not think for one moment that God does not use different denominations, despite their misguided theology or whatever the grievance we perceive to be a shame. God works in and through all things to His Glory and to our benefit.
I remember one church I attended that was very charismatic - I learned many things there and my walk with the Lord grew and I grew in faith. The one thing that stood out to me the most though, was when the pastor said (more than once), "If you do not find God here, feel free to go somewhere else. Just find God!" What he was implying was that if this particular worship environment didn't help you grow to know God better, go look elsewhere, you are not bound to this congregation just because you have gone here for 'how many' years. Ironically, my family thought I was nuts to go to this church...some were quite disgusted that I would leave the 'family' tradition and search for God elsewhere. But they didn't understand. I was searching for a deeper more meaningful relationship with God. God was leading me. He was revealing Himself to me in new ways. Through different people, different worship styles, different...different from what I was used to, different from what I was comfortable with, different from what I expected.
You see, God was showing me that He is everywhere. Really everywhere, not just in a church building, not just in a specific denomination, He works through people, circumstances, and places I would have never fathomed. And He was answering my prayers...to know Him intimately.
So, over the years, I have had some really wonderful experiences with God, I have also had some incredibly difficult years where I, quite honestly, would not like to repeat. What I have learned through all of this is that even though I think I am letting God be the Great I AM, I still have Him in a box of my own understanding. He destroys the box to show me He will not be contained, that He is uncontainable and thus, I grow in my understanding of Him and my love for Him more and more. His love for me remains the same...unconditional and deeper than I know.
This is where being true to oneself comes in, I know God is bigger than all my problems, I know God loves me and want me to grow in that love, I want to grow in His love; however, He keeps challenging me. I like a good challenge, sure, but when it tears to your core and makes you realize your own shortcomings, your own sin...well, it is uncomfortable, to say the least.
Lately, I have been challenged to step out and do and speak and write what I know and believe. For all to see. I am vulnerable. I am not a Bible scholar. I have so many faults and fears that I want to use as excuses to avoid sharing the Truth of Jesus Christ, but God is calling me out. He will not leave me alone, He is stretching me - and as uncomfortable as it is, I desire this more than anything - to grow in the love and knowledge of Jesus and to share with others. This means that I need to be bold - (I talk fearlessness and now I must walk fearlessness) - this means I need to rely on God more and more, which is easier said than done.
I am glad God has brought me to this place in my life (I am sad that I made the journey to this point more difficult than what I could have - that's what relying on self and not on God leads to though...sigh). I pray you would see the honest struggle that I, as a Christian, face and be encouraged...somehow...Being a child of God, a believer, does not mean we have it all together and have all the answers, it means we recognize who we are...I am not the Great I AM, but by the grace of God, I am who I am.
Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise. Psalm 111:9-10 (in Context) Psalm 111 (Whole Chapter)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
I Cannot Comfort
LOL...The Good Lord has just dumped a foot of snow on us and there is rain to follow...oi! I am so moving somewhere warm...no, seriously...it was a beautiful snowfall; however, driving through 6 inches of slushy snow for 4 hours was not so nice. It gave me time to think though - 1) about how to stay on the road amidst depth-perception challenged individuals who seem to think a two lane highway has magically become a single lane...all for them! and 2) about a new friend who is having a very difficult time right now.
I can't and won't go into details except to say that it frustrates me when I cannot bring answers and comfort to someone who needs and longs for them. All I can do is pray. Which is the best and most powerful thing I could do, but when I can't see God at work, I find it easy to become arrogant towards the Lord and I want to contrive solutions of my own and set off to implement them...and in case you haven't guessed it...my solutions usually (okay...always) cause more problems.
So, while I was driving today, I decided to put myself in check and let the Lord do His thing.(...lol it has only taken near 40 years...) Anyhow, I am confident that God will make a way for all things to come together for His Glory...and oh...what a day that will be! There is always Hope...His name is Jesus!
Isaiah 51:12 "I, even I, am he who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mortal men, the sons of men, who are but grass,
Isaiah 51:11-13 (in Context) Isaiah 51 (Whole Chapter)
Monday, December 8, 2008
Eyes of Grace
Can you say WOOOHOOO!!?
I am done this semester...only one to go - yeehaw!
I am excited. There have been so many times when I have wanted to quit along the way...so many times! But I didn't and here I am, one semester to go! Having said that, I pray all goes well in my final semester. I will be in ICU. It is a little intimidating, but our hospital has a good ICU team and I am looking forward to learning from them.
For those of you who don't know, I have gone back to university to get my registered nursing degree. I do not have a background in health care, so it has been a challenge from so many angles. Regardless, here I am, persevering. (And I must say sincerely that it is because of God that I am in this program and that I have stuck with it...story for another time...)
This semester past, I spent in Telemetry. This is pre and post cardiac care. Being a student has many advantages, like being able to take extra time with the patients...and I took full advantage of that;) I heard so many stories - joys, hopes, hurts...oh, the pain and bondage of some breaks my heart. But with these stories, I was able to share my faith and encourage. I also had the privilege to pray over these patients. The stories that people confided to me has only provoked me to implore of the Lord to use me to set the captives free more and more. This is where my heart aches. I can see the potential in each person to be all that God intended them to be, yet because of this or that, they (we all) continue to struggle in different areas, captive to the enemy of our souls.
I am grateful for this experience...to be honest, these past couple of years have been hellish for me, but they have brought me to where I am today. I have a deeper appreciation for the person behind each story I encounter, a deeper desire to pray for each person to become all that they could be, a deeper gratitude for the saving grace of my Lord Jesus in my own life...
Over this holiday season, I want to encourage each of you to look at every person you meet with eyes of Grace. Don't look at what you see, but rather at what could be if that person was truly set free in Christ...and then treat them that way, with the Love of Jesus.
~mp:)
I am done this semester...only one to go - yeehaw!
I am excited. There have been so many times when I have wanted to quit along the way...so many times! But I didn't and here I am, one semester to go! Having said that, I pray all goes well in my final semester. I will be in ICU. It is a little intimidating, but our hospital has a good ICU team and I am looking forward to learning from them.
For those of you who don't know, I have gone back to university to get my registered nursing degree. I do not have a background in health care, so it has been a challenge from so many angles. Regardless, here I am, persevering. (And I must say sincerely that it is because of God that I am in this program and that I have stuck with it...story for another time...)
This semester past, I spent in Telemetry. This is pre and post cardiac care. Being a student has many advantages, like being able to take extra time with the patients...and I took full advantage of that;) I heard so many stories - joys, hopes, hurts...oh, the pain and bondage of some breaks my heart. But with these stories, I was able to share my faith and encourage. I also had the privilege to pray over these patients. The stories that people confided to me has only provoked me to implore of the Lord to use me to set the captives free more and more. This is where my heart aches. I can see the potential in each person to be all that God intended them to be, yet because of this or that, they (we all) continue to struggle in different areas, captive to the enemy of our souls.
I am grateful for this experience...to be honest, these past couple of years have been hellish for me, but they have brought me to where I am today. I have a deeper appreciation for the person behind each story I encounter, a deeper desire to pray for each person to become all that they could be, a deeper gratitude for the saving grace of my Lord Jesus in my own life...
Over this holiday season, I want to encourage each of you to look at every person you meet with eyes of Grace. Don't look at what you see, but rather at what could be if that person was truly set free in Christ...and then treat them that way, with the Love of Jesus.
~mp:)
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