Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Will the Journey Continue????

Well, I am (I believe) at the end of this particular trip...What I have neglected to mention, thus far, is the onslaught of opposition to me spending alone time with God. I have been surrounded by family or friends this entire trip. I have not been able to escape very far or for very long. I really could have stayed home and gotten more alone time than what I have experienced on this trip. This has struck me as odd until I started thinking differently about my situation and what I attempting to accomplish.

I am seeking to commune with God in a quiet, safe, and peaceful (deeply, personally peaceful) place. I need His guidance, His assurance, His touch of love to my heart. I wanted to go somewhere and tap into it and bask in it, without interruption. Instead, I have had downpours and hail hindering my driving, attacks of anxiety, and the 'busy-ness' of family and friends all around me.

Honestly, I was expecting a "mountain top" experience with God, rather, I feel like how Elijah must have felt when the wind, the earthquake, and the fire occurred. 1 Kings 19:10-12 (in Context) 1 Kings 19 (Whole Chapter) Disappointment, confusion, frustration...

Now, unlike Elijah, who had no idea that a gentle whisper would come next and it would be the Lord, I expect the Lord to speak to me. I have no doubt, I am just unsure of when and how. I am looking for it and I long for it! Oh, so desperately do I long for God to call my name and speak to me.

I have learned a few things on this trip, despite the apparent setbacks. I have learned that I can trust God to lead me. I have also learned that I want to deny God's voice when it isn't exactly what I want to hear. For example, when I was considering this trip and making Texas my destination, I had doubts...actually, I had this sense that I was not to go across the border. I wanted to go south of the border, so I still headed that way. However, I decided I needed to be true to my let the Lord lead, I gave up my intentions and let God lead.

Now, I am back at home processing all that I have experienced thus far...but wait! What's this?? I need to pray.....something has presented itself to me...hmmm....The Journey continues????.......

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