Monday, January 19, 2009

I Persevere...

Well, the hordes of hell were let loose on me today...left, right, and center...I liken it to a plague of locusts infiltrating every space available to swarm around your person and nip at your being - foul creatures! (Just to clarify, I have never been swarmed by locusts, I just imagine it would be like what I wrote...probably worse.) Of course, I immediately engaged in a spiritual battle, but it was like I was speaking forth sparks that only added to the fiery coals that were singeing me. On days like this, I long for a prayer partner. I have not had a prayer partner for about 6 years now and I miss it.

That aside, I persevere.

The interesting thing about this attack is that it is a familiar one.

Have you ever had one of those? You have conquered a mountain and days, weeks, months later (maybe even years later) the enemy of your soul rears his ugly head as if to just remind you of his presence. Perhaps I have let my guard down. Perhaps the Lord is trying to get my attention. Or...perhaps it is both ...or something else.

Right now, if you are still reading, I am letting you into an area of wounding and weakness in my heart.
...I have a fire inside (don't we all???) and this fire cannot be quelled. Now, it would seem that I am appropriately named..."Misti Pearl", a hidden gem, an obscured treasure, a treasure formed by irritation - surrounded by fog...Well, I am in a fog right now - gem or no gem - and I want this fire within to burn its way through the fog so that the gem can be revealed, so to speak. Perhaps I should lose the name "Misti". Anyhow, this attack that weighs on me like a huge wet, wool blanket is smothering the life out of me and I want to be released. Set free. It is a frustrating place of existence to standing on the edge of a desert, looking across a chasm to something, somewhere, and hearing your name called - but you can't get there, you can't return the call, sadly, at this point, you are barely able to stand where you are...

On that somewhat distressing and gloomy note, I will assure you that I haven't given up completely. I persevere. I hold on to my King and gratefully acknowledge that the fringe of His robe covers me. It is enough. I wait. I persevere. God is faithful. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11


Laura said...

Maybe we can be prayer partners for each other?

MistiPearl said...

LOL...God works in ways that leave me in a state of absolute heartfelt gratitude to the King who knows all that I need, when, where, who, why, and how... :)
I will talk to you soon (before we go bowling... :) )

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