Monday, January 19, 2009
Well, the hordes of hell were let loose on me today...left, right, and center...I liken it to a plague of locusts infiltrating every space available to swarm around your person and nip at your being - foul creatures! (Just to clarify, I have never been swarmed by locusts, I just imagine it would be like what I wrote...probably worse.) Of course, I immediately engaged in a spiritual battle, but it was like I was speaking forth sparks that only added to the fiery coals that were singeing me. On days like this, I long for a prayer partner. I have not had a prayer partner for about 6 years now and I miss it.
That aside, I persevere.
The interesting thing about this attack is that it is a familiar one.
Have you ever had one of those? You have conquered a mountain and days, weeks, months later (maybe even years later) the enemy of your soul rears his ugly head as if to just remind you of his presence. Perhaps I have let my guard down. Perhaps the Lord is trying to get my attention. Or...perhaps it is both ...or something else.
Right now, if you are still reading, I am letting you into an area of wounding and weakness in my heart.
...I have a fire inside (don't we all???) and this fire cannot be quelled. Now, it would seem that I am appropriately named..."Misti Pearl", a hidden gem, an obscured treasure, a treasure formed by irritation - surrounded by fog...Well, I am in a fog right now - gem or no gem - and I want this fire within to burn its way through the fog so that the gem can be revealed, so to speak. Perhaps I should lose the name "Misti". Anyhow, this attack that weighs on me like a huge wet, wool blanket is smothering the life out of me and I want to be released. Set free. It is a frustrating place of existence to be...like standing on the edge of a desert, looking across a chasm to something, somewhere, and hearing your name called - but you can't get there, you can't return the call, sadly, at this point, you are barely able to stand where you are...
On that somewhat distressing and gloomy note, I will assure you that I haven't given up completely. I persevere. I hold on to my King and gratefully acknowledge that the fringe of His robe covers me. It is enough. I wait. I persevere. God is faithful. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. ~John 21:4
Who believes in you? Who do you believe in? I have always had trouble with this phrase. I mean, what does it mean to "believe"...
I didn't think much of it when it happened, but it did and here I am. What was it that led up to this event? I can barely recall. It doe...
I suppose I should write something. I have been reading over my blog posts of late and noticed that I have not been so "revealing"...