Friday, October 19, 2012

Weary and Cynical

In these past couple of years, I have become cynical. I used to think that people were generally kind and not (for lack of a better general description) mean. In my self-righteous arrogance, I have identified so many angry, bitter, spiteful, ignorant, critical, self-important people that have challenged my patience...and it is all I can see. Blinded by fog.

Now, I know I can, and have had, each of these characteristics flow through my veins, but through the Grace of God, I have worked through, and I am still working through - and overcoming the wounding of these strongholds. The trying part for me right now is the fact that as I try to let God work in and through me, these traits  seem to be pounding greater and greater against my armor - like a blow horn 3 feet away from my ear wanting to blow my eardrum into eternal deafness.

Sigh.


Immersing yourself in the Presence of God to shake off the anger of this world can be difficult...at least for me it can be. Sometimes, I want to wallow in this darkness just so I can throw it back at those that offend...Instigate revenge, retribution, retaliation. It is hard not to sink to that level. I must take it to God in prayer, even then, I sometimes feel He doesn't hear my cry of frustration.

Sadly, as I write this, I can hear the voices of condemnation from the religious. The voices of the Grace-filled are faint...almost non-existent. 

Time to refocus.

I return to the lap of Abba...Protect me. Give me strength. 


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9
 
[ The Armor of God ] Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
Ephesians 6

Trust in the Lord your God and don't lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3 <-go here

1 comment:

Robert said...

Always like reading your thoughts Misti. Keep protecting your heart and sharing from the deep well you possess.