How Bad Do You Want It?

How bad do you want it? That question ran through my head as I pushed myself another 5km (partly up hill), after riding a hard 20km already...how bad did I want to get to my goal? When I work out, I remind myself...how bad do I want optimum health? When I was watching my daughter and her team play basketball this morning, I noticed the determination on their faces...it provoked me to remember this question that has motivated me time and time again.

People have described me as determined...I don't easily give up, I like a challenge, I like to win, but I know there are times when I am defeated...I don't particularly like it, but I am not afraid to admit I am done or outdone for that matter.

There is something in my life I am striving for right now...the problem with it is I can't name it. It is not a person, it is not a thing, it is purpose....I need purpose. Some would say that I am a Mom, so that is my purpose or I am a nursing student, so nursing is my purpose...That is still not it though...not that I shirk away from these responsibilities... There is something else calling me...

I have been looking, putting my toe in the water of many ponds, lakes, oceans...puddles...I am still confounded and some of these entities that I thought were "safe" were not. They were damaging, theives, liars, and/or misguided themselves...like I need that!! I have learned from them though, things that I should not or would not do to others...It has been a tough learning curve, but it was an opportunity to learn. I have some regrets, but I perservere.

How bad do I want it? Pretty bad...what am I without purpose? "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future."Jer. 29:11..."I work all things together for good, for those who love Me and are called according to My Purpose."Rom. 8:28...perservere...I am determined...Is it staring me in the face and I am not seeing it?? Lord, open my eyes and ears...Let me see with Your Eyes, hear with Your Ears, and respond with Your Heart!