I Must Be Brave

The heart of a child who has lost her best friend, broken and overcome with grief.
The tears of a child sting as they fall, remembering his final words.
The child...asleep on the grass, exhausted from crying, not caring, just wrought by this loss.

I must be brave.

~~~

Yeshua. He was a friend to me, I mean, no one else wanted anything to do with me. I am just an orphan, a dirty street urchin. I sleep hidden in whatever spot I can find. He saw me early one morning before the sun rose. He didn't yell at me and call me names, he called me to himself. It was the first time that I was not cursed upon sight. He invited me to walk with him and he even shared some bread and drink with me. We talked about many things...we talked...no one ever wants to talk to me, no one cares to hear what I have to say, but he did and he did not call me stupid or tell me to shut up...he listened...he cared. After a while, he did something I had never seen done before, I mean, not the way others did it. He prayed. He invited me to stay and He prayed to God like he knew him personally...and I listened...I cared. I wanted to know this God who he so obviously loved. I wanted to pray like him, not like the others who rhymed off scripture and boasted of their good deeds so that God would hear them. Yeshua prayed with confidence, like he knew his prayers were heard...and he prayed for others! Oh, the concern for others...he even prayed for that horrid blacksmith and his family!
...And he prayed for me...no one had ever prayed for me before. And then he did something unthinkable! He asked me if I would like to pray! I mean, me, pray?! I wanted to, I really did, but I didn't know what to say...He smiled at me and placed his hand upon my head and suddenly I was warm all over and I began to speak! I don't remember what I had said, but I do remember Yeshua smiling at me and lifting his arms towards heaven...and at one point, I was sure he was going to laugh at me, but he began to sing instead. He was so happy...and I was happy! Oh, I didn't want it to end! We sang together songs that praised God, we danced, and we laughed. It must have been quite a sight, but I didn't care. I was warm and happy and...and loved! I just knew I was loved!
That is how my friendship with Yeshua began. And now...I am cold. I am sad. I am tired...but I remember what he said...He will return. I don't know how, and I don't care! I believe him, with all of my heart, I believe him! He told me to be brave, not to be afraid and to trust him. I do trust him! He will be back...he said so! It still hurts though...and I am cold, and tired...but I will be brave...I will be brave...
Yeshua...I love you! So much...I love you! Please come back soon...

 Here they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle. ~John 19:18